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Newest Member: Jasnah (61860)

User Topic: Behavior Expected - please advise
♀ 37312
Member # 37312
Stop  Posted: 6:11 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has been awhile since i have posted. Me and the unfaithful broke physical ties in November 2012. However, I have been on a whirlwind of drugs, swinging and simply not my normal behavior. I feel like, because the infidelity occurred within a swingers club, I had no choice but to prove that he's not the only one. I am now on disability due to panic attacks. However, I am getting better. I have removed all inappropriate sexual and emotional behaviors aside and am working with clinical doctrine. My only question, is this a normal behavior after trying to survive infidelity.


Me BS - 40

Ex-Significant WS - 45

Together for 4 years but no longer together - I now live by myself (teenage daughter recently moved out)

D-Day 10-1-12

Posts: 9 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Arizona
♂ 16472
Member # 16472
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think any of us can say there is a "normal" in any of this. The act of infidelity in and of itself should not be considered normal, yet many do since it happens so often in society.

If your focus is on whether or not your behavior fits in with the rest of society, your focus is in the wrong place. This isn't about you conforming to some standard, or responding the way most other people would. It's about you exploring what inside you caused you to feel this was the right response to the situation, and addressing those gaps.

The raw answer to your question is I don't believe most people who realize that an affair was the wrong thing to do see having more affairs (blessed or not by their BS) as being healthy.

Once you are clean, sober and no longer swinging, go back and reread this post. My bet says you will question why you felt this way at this point in time.

BW(her)- 49, FWH (me) 52
4 month Online EA
M 27 years, together for 31
4 Daughters - 25, 22, 18 and 16
d-day 6/2/07, in R
FORGIVENESS 1/1/2008!!!
"Action expresses priorities." -
Mohandas Gandhi

Posts: 4489 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: One Particular Harbour
SI Staff
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 6:36 AM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BSs are not to start threads in the wayward forum. It is against the guidelines.
Thank you.

Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
Topic Posts: 3

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