I'M ON THE FENCE
And if you sit and think about it for 2 seconds, they say it takes 2 to 5 years to fully heal from infidelity. You are just a month out, so why WOULDN'T you still be hurt and feeling things and thinking things and wanting to talk about it? When they say it's going to take a long time, they MEAN it's going to take a long time. My H had ONS's with random people, his first one was a customer that he only spent 4 hours in her house and she was able to get into his pants. She wasn't nearly as hideous as he tried to describe her the first few times... he did that to not hurt my feelings. Also very common.
You're going to have ups and downs, it's great that he seems to be doing the work, but this is a marathon, not a sprint. So while it's wonderful he's doing the work now, it's how he goes on in the long run that will determine how much he wants to fix things. I hope for you, for your family, that he's a good long distance runner.
its only been a month out
What your H is doing sounds great, and given more time, if he keeps it up and continues to follow through in this positive direction that will definitely be a plus for your M IMO, but as you said, it has only been a month, more time is needed for him to "prove" himself so to speak.
but i cant get unstuck and embrace all of what he is doing for me ...how?
Unfortunately the answer is time and what you do with it, but no matter how hard you work, it still takes time to process it all, work through it, etc.
ppl here have it worse than me with LTA , EA
doesn't matter, pain is pain, you hurt, you have things to process, your H has things to work through, don't minimize, honor your process and whatever it is you need.
[This message edited by GraceisGood at 7:34 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]