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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: I hate her name!
allfalldown
♀ 39324
Member # 39324
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I absolutely fucking hate the name of the OW. I hear it everywhere...movies, tv shows, signs, etc. I want to do a roll call of OW names...but it is just a name and shared by thousands of other women. Will this hate go away?


Dday 5-10-13
1 year + EA/PA (still TT)
Me- BW
Him- WH
M- 15 years
2 kiddos
Today's forecast is foggy with a chance of D.

"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"


Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: hell on earth
roughroadahead
♀ 36060
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate the OW's name too. And it really was everywhere last year. Not only is it a name common in her generation, it is also an adjective. It was the name of a huge hurricane last year. Some may even say it was a superstorm. There was a terrible tragedy at an elementary school on the eastern side of the country, again with her name in it. I literally could not get away from it.

A year later, has it gone away? Some, but not really. It doesn't make me as angry as it used to, but i have a hard time using the word. I am working on detaching, and as that happens, that stupid whore's name stops mattering so much. She really is nothing.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
SAR681
♀ 36285
Member # 36285
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I physically tense up when I hear her name. Her name is not allowed in my house. She's known as either "Psycho" or "The Whore" depending on whether the person that I am talking to is in the know or not.


BW Me, 32 FWH - Him, 33
Married 9 years, together for 14
3 Kids: 5 yrs, 3 yrs, 18 months
MOW - my "friend"
DD#1 July 2012, admitted to an EA
DD#2 1/14/13, finally admitted to PA

http://endureevolve.blogspot.com/


Posts: 122 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Somewhere in Middle America
Offhispedestal
♀ 32528
Member # 32528
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The hate does calm down quite a bit.
But you will ALWAYS flinch just a bit when you hear it. I'm sure you feel like its everywhere. I feel the same way too. It seems every time I watch any episode of a crime series like Special Vitims Unit, 48 hrs etc....
At some point I hear " they were murdered April 12, 2000. Or we watch the Vampire Diaries and one of the Characters name is April.. I have to see it and hear for one entire month. I have to see it on the cover of my iPhone ...yes it sucks


ME-44
WH-45
Married 24


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R


Posts: 639 | Registered: Jun 2011
LifeIsBroken
♀ 27071
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never refer to 'her' by her name; I have too many friends by that same name and I do not NOT! want to associate 'her' with them.... so I'm happy to just refer to her as the bimbo although she's hardly attractive - or, maybe she is if you like a female with man hands & man feet and a horse face.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 537 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
stilltrying2025
♀ 39145
Member # 39145
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ha....mine is Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Fucking Brady Bunch! I hear it all the time and I literally get sick to my stomach. I used to play a Brady Bunch slot game on Facebook but I won't any more because I would show clips of "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia"! Couldn't handle it. HUGE trigger for me. You are not alone by any means


Me: 38
WH: 43
DD: Thanksgiving Day, 2012
Status: Separated

Posts: 184 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Minnesota
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think my hate for the OW's name tapered pretty quickly because so many other people in my life who I care about have the same name.

FWH and I still have to go into explain mode if we refer to one of our same-name friends, but the bad feelings towards the name have definitely diminished.


"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16


Posts: 18694 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
BW2639
♂ 34875
Member # 34875
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I won't refer to him with his name; I usually just refer to him as " Rat Bastard"


married 21 yr
Reconciling

Posts: 178 | Registered: Feb 2012
JustForgave
♀ 36038
Member # 36038
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just call them c and m, because they aren't important enough to capitalize their names.


Me: 47
FWH: 40 (SI username: Bumbling)
DD: 11

DDay #1: June 9, 2012
Dday #2 (TT): November 29, 2012
DDay #3 (The BIG one, ALL the TT): March 30, 2013
False R: June 12, 2012 - March 21, 2013
REAL R: March 21, 2013 - present


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Texas
Linus1968
♂ 31243
Member # 31243
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got lucky. Honest to God, the OM has the same first name as the man in those Direct Auto Insurance commercials. You know: Mr. Hightail (I will omit the first name to protect the OM's idenity). I see those commercial and laugh to myself...
Heck, who am I kidding. I tell everyone that is the name of my WW's BF.

You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact

[This message edited by Linus1968 at 10:36 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]


Me: Me
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 16, D:14
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."

Posts: 241 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Florida
ok4now
♀ 35896
Member # 35896
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine shares the same name as my BFF.


BS - 39 (me)
WS - 33
DD - 6
D Day - 6/2/11 EA (would have been a PA if the OW was game)
"I'm not going to be the person I am expected to be anymore"
Blue de Chanel Commercial

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Maryland
h0peless
♂ 36697
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex's New Dad shares a last name with a major street in my city. I kin of had to get over the revulsion or I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere.

Posts: 1851 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
brokensunflower
♀ 38674
Member # 38674
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah I hate the OW name too .. I just refer to her as homewrecking whore .. because that's just what she is ...


me 33
him 32
6 wonderful kids 12 yrs 8 yrs 5 yrs 4 yrs and 2 yrs ..and new baby
married 10 years together for 12 yrs
working on R

my give a damn is busted


Posts: 225 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: cold ohio
NoraLee
♀ 37922
Member # 37922
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her name used to be a trigger - very common name...

At our first MC session, mc asked, "what will we call the affair partner?"
"Whore" was just about to leave my lips when H just blurted out her name. I made a face and rolled my eyes, but didn't make a big deal out of it...so we had to use her name every week for awhile... And it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm glad I did - I work in a school with 2 lovely ladies with the same name.


Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
In R

Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
knolls
♀ 39242
Member # 39242
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too!!!

She shares a name with a cheese. And the other day I was quiche and added said cheese, made me want to barf.

I hate condoms too. I was at a store tonight and there they were taunting me right in my face


I am stronger than the storm.
I take every experience in my life, no matter how horrendous it was, as a learning experience

Posts: 68 | Registered: May 2013
wontdefineme
♀ 31421
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did too, but I used it to his face so she was the person in the room with us not just some hateful word. It will hurt for a while, but it helped me, especially when I told everyone who she was.

Posts: 2187 | Registered: Mar 2011
mysticmoons
♀ 38861
Member # 38861
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her name has never been used in our conversations, its always been Whore. Lucky for me I dont know anyone else by that name, it is my good friends dogs name though. So now when I go to my friends house and see the dog I just leave out the "Y" at the end of the name...it helps


Me: 39 BGF
Him: 45 WBF
DD#1 02/06/13 Found 6 months of texts between him and my friend
DD#2 03/14/13 Found texting between him and a 24 year old he met at his gig
DD#3 03/17/13 confessed to BJ from bar SLUT
DD#4 03/18/13 Had sex 2X with bar SLUT

Posts: 27 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: mysticmoons
Markay81
♀ 39387
Member # 39387
Default  Posted: 3:17 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me its bar whore or gutter slut. My husband is many many names and at this moment none of them are nice.


Ugh! Sometimes reality sucks.
BS (me) 31
WH (him) 33
OW - married Bar Whore Rig Rat
Married 14 years
3 amazing kids
DDay-3/03/2013 TT.The whole truth came out(hopefully) 06/09/2013
Currently on the roller coaster of R.

Posts: 48 | Registered: May 2013
Betrayed67
♀ 38134
Member # 38134
Default  Posted: 4:31 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate the woman's name with a passion. When WH and I talk about the A, I refer to her as the SLUT and FILTHY WHORE. He always look down and embarrassed when that whore's name comes up.


Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Zealand
absolut
♀ 37933
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 4:36 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my case her name is doubly annoying to me in that it's basically misspelled. You know how it's somewhat trendy now to give your kid a common name but spell it differently?
For example, Emilie instead of Emily or Jessyca instead of Jessica. Or Ashlee or something like that. So now I always give people with these sorts of names the side-eye.

Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 42
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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