Topic: I hate her name!
Member # 39324
| Posted: 9:33 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I absolutely fucking hate the name of the OW. I hear it everywhere...movies, tv shows, signs, etc. I want to do a roll call of OW names...but it is just a name and shared by thousands of other women. Will this hate go away?
1 year + EA/PA (still TT)
M- 15 years
Today's forecast is foggy with a chance of D.
"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"
Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: hell on earth
Member # 36060
| Posted: 9:41 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I hate the OW's name too. And it really was everywhere last year. Not only is it a name common in her generation, it is also an adjective. It was the name of a huge hurricane last year. Some may even say it was a superstorm. There was a terrible tragedy at an elementary school on the eastern side of the country, again with her name in it. I literally could not get away from it.
A year later, has it gone away? Some, but not really. It doesn't make me as angry as it used to, but i have a hard time using the word. I am working on detaching, and as that happens, that stupid whore's name stops mattering so much. She really is nothing.
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
2 DS and DD all w/autism
Posts: 751 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Member # 36285
| Posted: 9:45 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I physically tense up when I hear her name. Her name is not allowed in my house. She's known as either "Psycho" or "The Whore" depending on whether the person that I am talking to is in the know or not.
BW – Me, 32 FWH - Him, 33
Married 9 years, together for 14
3 Kids: 5 yrs, 3 yrs, 18 months
MOW - my "friend"
DD#1 – July 2012, admitted to an EA
DD#2 – 1/14/13, finally admitted to PA
Posts: 122 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Somewhere in Middle America
Member # 32528
| Posted: 9:47 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
The hate does calm down quite a bit.
But you will ALWAYS flinch just a bit when you hear it. I'm sure you feel like its everywhere. I feel the same way too. It seems every time I watch any episode of a crime series like Special Vitims Unit, 48 hrs etc....
At some point I hear " they were murdered April 12, 2000. Or we watch the Vampire Diaries and one of the Characters name is April.. I have to see it and hear for one entire month. I have to see it on the cover of my iPhone ...yes it sucks
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)
Posts: 734 | Registered: Jun 2011
Member # 27071
| Posted: 9:48 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I never refer to 'her' by her name; I have too many friends by that same name and I do not NOT! want to associate 'her' with them.... so I'm happy to just refer to her as the bimbo although she's hardly attractive - or, maybe she is if you like a female with man hands & man feet and a horse face.
BW: 59 XH: 60 Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
"The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones." J M Keynes.
Posts: 1099 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 39145
| Posted: 9:49 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
Ha....mine is Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Fucking Brady Bunch! I hear it all the time and I literally get sick to my stomach. I used to play a Brady Bunch slot game on Facebook but I won't any more because I would show clips of "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia"! Couldn't handle it. HUGE trigger for me. You are not alone by any means
DD: Thanksgiving Day, 2012
Posts: 184 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Minnesota
Member # 31349
| Posted: 9:54 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I think my hate for the OW's name tapered pretty quickly because so many other people in my life who I care about have the same name.
FWH and I still have to go into explain mode if we refer to one of our same-name friends, but the bad feelings towards the name have definitely diminished.
I really fear acting without thought. -sisoon
Posts: 28234 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 34875
| Posted: 10:18 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I won't refer to him with his name; I usually just refer to him as " Rat Bastard"
married 21 yr
Posts: 214 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 36038
| Posted: 10:29 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I just call them c and m, because they aren't important enough to capitalize their names.
WH: just somebody that I used to know
DDay #1: June 9, 2012
Dday #2 (TT): November 29, 2012
DDay #3 (The BIG one, ALL the TT): March 30, 2013
False R: June 12, 2012 - March 21, 2013
REAL R: March 21, 2013 - present
Posts: 360 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Texas
Member # 31243
| Posted: 10:34 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I got lucky. Honest to God, the OM has the same first name as the man in those Direct Auto Insurance commercials. You know: Mr. Hightail (I will omit the first name to protect the OM's idenity). I see those commercial and laugh to myself...
Heck, who am I kidding. I tell everyone that is the name of my WW's BF.
You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact
[This message edited by Linus1968 at 10:36 PM, May 30th (Thursday)]
Her: Multiple men, multiple times, OC with the latest one
S: 17, D:15
May 27, 2014 DIVORCED!!!
In the words of Dory "Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest."
Posts: 257 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Florida
Member # 35896
| Posted: 10:52 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
Mine shares the same name as my BFF.
BS - 39 (me)
WS - 33
DD - 6
D Day - 6/2/11 EA (would have been a PA if the OW was game)
"I'm not going to be the person I am expected to be anymore"
Blue de Chanel Commercial
Posts: 121 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Maryland
Member # 36697
| Posted: 11:21 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
My ex's New Dad shares a last name with a major street in my city. I kin of had to get over the revulsion or I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere.
Posts: 2739 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Member # 38674
| Posted: 11:31 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
yeah I hate the OW name too .. I just refer to her as homewrecking whore .. because that's just what she is ...
7 wonderful kids 14 yrs 10 yrs 7 yrs 6 yrs and 4 yrs 2yr ..and new baby
married 15years together for 12
my give a damn is busted
Posts: 230 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: cold ohio
Member # 37922
| Posted: 11:32 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
Her name used to be a trigger - very common name...
At our first MC session, mc asked, "what will we call the affair partner?"
"Whore" was just about to leave my lips when H just blurted out her name. I made a face and rolled my eyes, but didn't make a big deal out of it...so we had to use her name every week for awhile... And it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm glad I did - I work in a school with 2 lovely ladies with the same name.
Me - BW - 44
Him - FWH - 42
Married 16 years
D day - 1/2 truth - July 2012
Full disclosure - August 2012
EA with skanky waitress coworker
3 kids - 14, 16, 21
Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Canada
Member # 39242
| Posted: 11:41 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
She shares a name with a cheese. And the other day I was quiche and added said cheese, made me want to barf.
I hate condoms too. I was at a store tonight and there they were taunting me right in my face
I am stronger than the storm.
I take every experience in my life, no matter how horrendous it was, as a learning experience
Posts: 81 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 31421
| Posted: 11:55 PM, May 30th (Thursday), 2013|
I did too, but I used it to his face so she was the person in the room with us not just some hateful word. It will hurt for a while, but it helped me, especially when I told everyone who she was.
Posts: 2320 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 38861
| Posted: 12:07 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013|
Her name has never been used in our conversations, its always been Whore. Lucky for me I dont know anyone else by that name, it is my good friends dogs name though. So now when I go to my friends house and see the dog I just leave out the "Y" at the end of the name...it helps
Me: 39 BGF
Him: 45 WBF
DD#1 02/06/13 Found 6 months of texts between him and my friend
DD#2 03/14/13 Found texting between him and a 24 year old he met at his gig
DD#3 03/17/13 confessed to BJ from bar SLUT
DD#4 03/18/13 Had sex 2X with bar SLUT
Posts: 27 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: mysticmoons
Member # 39387
| Posted: 3:17 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013|
For me its bar whore or gutter slut. My husband is many many names and at this moment none of them are nice.
Ugh! Sometimes reality sucks.
BS (me) 31
WH (him) 33
OW - married Bar Whore Rig Rat
Married 14 years
3 amazing kids
DDay-3/03/2013 TT.The whole truth came out(hopefully) 06/09/2013
Currently on the roller coaster of R.
Posts: 48 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 38134
| Posted: 4:31 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013|
I hate the woman's name with a passion. When WH and I talk about the A, I refer to her as the SLUT and FILTHY WHORE. He always look down and embarrassed when that whore's name comes up.
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
Posts: 131 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Zealand
Member # 37933
| Posted: 4:36 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013|
In my case her name is doubly annoying to me in that it's basically misspelled. You know how it's somewhat trendy now to give your kid a common name but spell it differently?
For example, Emilie instead of Emily or Jessyca instead of Jessica. Or Ashlee or something like that. So now I always give people with these sorts of names the side-eye.
Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
|Topic Posts: 42|