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Newest Member: solstice (46049)

User Topic: it is time to start accepting
cantaccept
♀ 37451
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This has been such a bad week. I think that the only path left is for me to heal alone.

I have tried to be so patient and supportive. He will give nothing. Last night he told me,"if I had know what she was really like I never would have gotten involved with her" WTF! He has no clue.

Had my IC tonight who is also our MC. He is asking me if I really want to live the rest of my life like this.

H keeps telling me I am making no progress. Giving him no hope. He will show no remorse but expects me to be happy and get over it.

Tonight he proceeded to get drunk, took my phone and started looking through it. I don't care, I have nothing to hide. What did make me angry was the stupid texts he sent to my former boss, who has just been diagnosed with ALS, at 10:30pm. I have to face the facts. Accept that he has never been a good man and probably never will be.

I am scared to start over, crazy as it may seem. I do know that if I do not get out I will just be hurt over and over again.

It isn't only the affair, although that is enough to crush anyone. It is the years of abuse, yes it was abuse. Verbal, emotional, cruel.
I deserve a life without fear. A life without stress at home, extreme stress, make you sick stress.

So sad, I just never thought life would be like this. I always believed that if you were kind, thoughtful, loving it would be returned to you. I was the fool.


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced!


Posts: 1600 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
huRtZ413
♀ 39214
Member # 39214
Default  Posted: 5:50 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always believed that if you were kind, thoughtful, loving it would be returned to you. I was the fool.

My thoughts exactly ! I have always thought you get what you put out , I didn't deserve this at all. I think that your listening to your gut and its saying there's nothing there but hurt . In my case even though I am beyond hurt my heart and gut tell me to stay because he will come through for me . Sorry your going through this



me_BW
him_WH


I'M ON THE FENCE



Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
Blameitontherain
♀ 37476
Member # 37476
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Cantaccept)))

Posts: 273 | Registered: Nov 2012
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I deserve a life without fear

Yes you do.


I hope you find the strength to give this to yourself.

(((hugs))) and support.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3872 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Undefinabl3
♀ 36883
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cantaccept

I hate to break this to you, but you are not in R with your WS. I mean, you personally may want to R with him, but the current status as a united relationship is not an R'ing relationship.

He will give nothing.

H keeps telling me I am making no progress.

Giving him no hope.

He will show no remorse but expects me to be happy and get over it.

All those are classic WS tactics of rugsweeping and gas lighting.

I always believed that if you were kind, thoughtful, loving it would be returned to you.

This is a line betwen kind, thoughtful, and loving....and a push over, easily manipulated, and a doormat....unfortunetly, some people know how to push people over those lines and use those to get what they want.

You can be kind, thoughtful, and loving - and at the same time be respected and true to yourself.

He has no clue - and you are giving HIM the power over YOUR life.

Ask yourself - Is he really better then whatever the world has to offer? Are you really going to allow him to have the power to make you stay simply because you are scared of change?

dont give him that power. If he can't properly R with you, then you need to 180 and get yourself healed and started down a fresh path.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.

Posts: 1833 | Registered: Sep 2012
cantaccept
♀ 37451
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, May 31st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for your support and thoughts.

Undefinable3, that was the point of this post, accepting that you cannot R alone.

I already knew that we weren't in R, but hoped it was possible to get there.

My point is now I start to heal alone.

I will not post here again, that fantasy is gone.


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced!


Posts: 1600 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
Topic Posts: 6

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