Welcome, yet sorry you're in the club ~
I'm with you on how incredulously disturbing WS choices are. "Who would DO that???!!!" was a frequent internal comment I'd hear as I processed my own life's mess and read that of others.
Though I don't have any links to share, I want you to know you are heard and NOT alone. Have you checked out the I Can Relate forum? Though you might not find an exact match, I'm thinking you might read other member's stories that resonate with you.
FWIW, I'll share one of my "WTF" stories from my FWH's sleaze days: going to a conference a day ahead of me joining him w/our kids. He had the hotel room, so at his suggestion we were going to have a little 'vacation'. The night before we got there, he hooked up with some OW (who he said slipped off her wedding ring...niiiiiiice!) and f*cked her on the very bed that the kids were crawling all over by noon the next day. It's gross, it's incredibly selfish and self-absorbed, and it's alien to most BSs. (shaking head)
Hang in there. Try not to get overloaded, read enough to know you're not alone and there's nothing wrong with YOU, but not so much as to think the world's completely gone to Hell. I found it helpful to occasionally read in the Wayward forum, because it is heartening to hear the voices of people who have done terrible, hurtful things but who have had an epiphany and worked hard to change and have been successful in doing so.
hope the spacing in this post isn't wonky; after the last spectacular dive off my desk, my keyboard has been paying me back by having the spacebar stick at random intervals....