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No feelings towards xWS

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dindy posted 5/31/2013 09:29 AM

It's been 4 months since DDay and today when xWS came to collect our son he had to come into my home for a short time as my son was just waking up from his nap. I feel absolutely nothing when I see him now, no anger or sadness. Is this normal so soon after DDay?

She11ybeanz posted 5/31/2013 09:31 AM

Indifference is a good thing....but usually happens with more time. Don't be surprised if the rollercoaster starts back up again though..... I'm 3 and a half years post D-day and still have my moments every now and then...

Be kind to yourself! ((HUGZ))

dindy posted 5/31/2013 10:10 AM

You're right She11ybeanz, I am expecting another roller coaster as surely I can't get over someone I have been with for nearly 9 years that quickly. Though, I do think the length of happiness between each sad state is stretching out which is a good thing. :)

She11ybeanz posted 5/31/2013 10:27 AM

Yes...and the moments of sadness and anger will come less and less over time. I still have my moments...but they are not nearly as often as they were in the beginning! I was with my XWH for 8 years....so I totally understand where you are coming from!

persevere posted 5/31/2013 11:28 AM

It is definitely a coaster for a while, especially for those of you that have to co-parent and have so much direct contact with the WS.

stillsad1970 posted 6/13/2013 19:08 PM

Nope 2 months out,dont give a shit,probably because he cheated lied and was a coward that it makes its easier. If thats how you feel , friggin awesome!

phmh posted 6/13/2013 19:28 PM

Don't compare yourself to other people too much -- what's normal for one person is not what's normal for the next!

I think it's a huge combination of your personality (resiliency appears to be hard-wired), your circumstances, the state of your marriage pre-D-Day, etc.

At four months out, we'd filed for D, but I was still hopeful he'd become the man I always thought he was. I didn't reach indifference until about 7 months post D-Day. But I have an advantage in that we didn't have kids together and no financial ties, so he's completely out of my life so I can move on.

Indifference is the goal. XWH now is just someone that I used to know.

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