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This explains why I'm not dating and Stbx is engaged.

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tryingagain74 posted 5/31/2013 11:35 AM

Just in case you're feeling down because your remorseless ex appears to have more "luck" (and I use that word loosely) than you in the dating/marriage game:

I was glad to read this since my STBX is NOT conventionally attractive: "Dufner offered some caveats about the research, though. 'We were not able to directly test the causality underlying the association between narcissism and physical attractiveness,' he said."

Bottom line? They're fun for a while, but they're not the steady, enduring types that we all hope for. I think it's helpful to remember that.

OnceInALifetime posted 5/31/2013 22:08 PM

Seems obvious to me that women are more generally drawn to narcissists. Without question, the number one trait women list as desirable in their dating profile is that the man be confident, self-assured. I'll never understand why this is such an aphrodisiac, but it sure makes dating a very fertile ground for the fat-headed men of the world. Of course, the profiles all qualify the desire for confidence by adding "but not arrogant," which only underlines that there is difficulty distinguishing between the two.

Personally, I think Hollywood has a lot to do with the foolhardy romantic desires of both men and women.

She11ybeanz posted 5/31/2013 22:48 PM

Yes...I am a freakin butt magnet for narcissists and cocky jacknutts....

OnceInALifetime posted 5/31/2013 23:22 PM

Men are no more enlightened (of course). Considering the divorce rate, the level of infidelity and general unhappiness with our partners, we're a society of fools when it comes to relationships.

I'm only just beginning to realize I wasn't all that interested in the sacrifices involved in a relationship while I was dating. Fortunately I failed to get involved with anyone.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 11:32 PM, May 31st (Friday)]

CallMeRed1 posted 6/1/2013 04:33 AM

Pretty sure that article was written about my EXH!

I'm totally drawn to quiet creative types now. He's smashed the appeal of narcs right out of me.

peridot posted 6/1/2013 19:39 PM

After the hell I have been through, I have become very picky. I may never have another relationship lol and I'm okay with that. It's been just me and the kids for over 5 years. Maybe I've just been single for too long.

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