On another note he indicated he would be coming back to his 'home' when he finishes projects for his mother and she is feeling better.' His elderly mother is his go to excuse for everything, except he forgets that I know that, and now he is using it with me? Really? He has been looking for employment there and his leaving had nothing to do with dear old mom. However, since he co-owns the house, if he does come back I am concerned. It would be a nightmare and I know he will remove items from the home. So as much as I don't want to bring an attorney into the mix, I may have to. He CAN'T stay in this house! The toxic environment would also be detrimental to DD as she doesn't want him here either. Maybe a restraining order because he has made statements in the past that he would never go through another divorce but he would go thru a homicide trial... and no, there has never been any DV. Just trying to think outside the box. He may be bluffing about coming back (even temporarily), but it is a possibility as our DS is coming home from Afghanistan in August and he likely wants to see him. I just don't know what the shitbag is up to and it makes me nervous...
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
The first atty I went to (free consult) said he would draw everything up, file, etc for $500.00 if we were going to get along in the divorce. So my suggestion to do is to go to some free consults and see if they can do the same for you to get the temp orders in place, which will include you get temp house to live in. In my state, the WS cannot enter the home once this is in place.
Then, when your WS is back into town, make an appt at this atty's office with your ws. Somehow, in an atty's office, with reality pointed out to them by the atty, of how expensivet a D will be, etc. your h might cave to look like the "good" guy, and just go along with the D.
Be prepared with $$$ just in case he wants to continue to be an a** and you have to go to court. Also, once the D is filed, then you have to account for $$ spent. So if you want to start getting $$ to put back, this is your chance.
Remember, the reason they act like a**es is because they want to get us all worked up and agitated so they can say we are hard to get along with!!!!
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
I think I will make an appt with an atty next week to at least formulate a plan. My DD even told me a little earlier that if he tries to come back to the house she is leaving and staying with her older sister because she refuses to be in the same house as him. *sigh* How did I end up married to such a dick??
However, I have decided to pull a hard NC for the next couple of weeks. Don't need to discuss kids as he talks to her directly on her phone (texts, never calls). We are currently at a stalemate anyway, and I am waiting for some additional financial information that will take at least two weeks (this includes final house appraisal). I will also be putting my separate inherited items into "protective custody" elsewhere as I had a dream that he came and destroyed them. During the absolute NC it will be interesting to see how he reacts. I've been the only one driving the D train so far and I am very curious to see if he decides to jump in that seat or just sit back and wait. I really can't do anything without the additional information right now so let's see what he thinks of being completely ignored for a while! He won't be expecting it, that is for sure! Plus, I really need a break. I used to look forward to his communication (before D-day), but now I dread it as they only aggravate me further and stress me out even more. I actually hate any kind of communication from him!!
[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 1:07 PM, June 2nd (Sunday)]