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Alrighty then...definitely not looking to date. not a booty call

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She11ybeanz posted 5/31/2013 22:38 PM

Soooo...that guy I told you guys about that just fell off the face of the planet and stopped messaging me after looking at my Facebook profile sent me a random text this evening while I was out to dinner with my family at a restaurant. He was like...."What happened to you? You never texted back!"

I was honest and told him that when he just stopped talking to me that I figured he had a change of heart and he made a slightly smartass comment "Well, don't you know how to converse?"

Grrrr.....I wanted to say...."Don't you?"

So we went back and forth with this odd banter for a little bit and he sent another picture of himself so I sent one of me sitting there....no makeup....not caring what I looked like.....and was like... "Here I am...in the raw!" Then made a joke about my sister taking my picture. Then...he says..."How old is she...?"

Um....exsqueeze me...? I said... 42...why? Interested? LOL! He was like...NO...just being curious! LOL Hmmmmm.....

So...I tell him that I'm going home cause it was way past my daughter's bedtime and I had to put her to bed and he said he was going to ask if I wanted to do something....(it was like 10:30pm by this time and please keep in mind I have NEVER met this guy!) I said....no....not today. Then he said...."SO I guess you wouldn't want me to come to your house?"

WHAT?????!!!!!

I said...."Not for the first time I meet you! No." And, he said.."Ok. Figured." Then said...."Oops..." and sent me a picture of him with his shirt off....and said he didn't "mean" to send that picture.....

Oh lord.

He said....."But I'm not shy"...and I said I was happy for him. Ugh. SO not going there!

So....he asks what I'm doing tomorrow and I have plans to be honest....and as a single mom....I have to make my plans in advance! He seemed annoyed by this and said..... "I see" Um.....look dude....I have a 10 month old daughter that I take care of by myself.... and I can't pull a babysitter out of my ass on a whim just because you flash me a picture of your hairy chest in your bathroom mirror with your cell phone like some hormone-crazed teenage boy on a webcam!

Do these sort of tactics actually work for some guys???? Sheesh.....

Bebba1171 posted 5/31/2013 22:48 PM

Me fellow men amaze me all the time...

All you got was a pic of his chest?

What a light weight!

Just kidding of course!

As Macakipa says "SHEEESH"

Next this dude!

She11ybeanz posted 5/31/2013 22:52 PM

Yes....THANK GAWD that's ALL I got!!! In the past when I tried OLD....I got pictures of much MUCH more than that! Once I actually got a random picture of a guy's LIMP "little buddy" and it was the 1st day he started texting me too!!! I was traumatized by that!!!

The fact that he was brazen enough to ask if he could come over to my house made me want to reach through the phone and back hand him.....seriously?? I will give him credit... at least I know he has balls! But, he can find himself another girl for his late night hookups cause I'm not it.

Barking up the wrong tree bozo!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 10:52 PM, May 31st (Friday)]

better4me posted 5/31/2013 22:55 PM

really...block his ass...there are SOOOO many more fish in the sea...

Amazonia posted 6/1/2013 05:37 AM

Shelly, are these guys messaging you or are you messaging them? Your profile might need a bit of a rewrite if it's bringing in so many guys who don't understand the concept of your lifestyle. If your profile clearly articulates (near the beginning of a section, so even those skimming will see it) that you have a daughter, are busy, need to make plans well in advance, and are looking for someone and something that will fit into that lifestyle, it'll be easy to redirect guys back to your first point of contact together, i.e. them reading your profile, and just shut them down. "I made it pretty clear on my profile that I'm looking for something more serious and need to make plans well in advance, I'm not sure what you were expecting. We might just not be a good fit, so I wish you well."

cmego posted 6/1/2013 05:57 AM

I'm with Ama. Time to give the speech...here is mine:

"You seem like a nice person with some good qualities, but you are not a good fit for me. Good luck in your search!"

Then, crickets. Block. Never respond again. Trust your initial impression that he is not for you and walk away.

CallMeRed1 posted 6/1/2013 07:02 AM

Sadly this sort of nonsense works enough times that some people will give it a try.

My exWH did this sort of crap all the time and ended up getting loads of action...

Don't waste your time on him, it sounds to me like he's just after the physical.

Williesmom posted 6/1/2013 07:04 AM

I'm a little bit older than you, but I've had those ones that want the late night booty call.

I have actually said " if I were your daughter, what would you think of some guy wanting to come to her house at midnight? Now safe is that?"

They get my point very quickly.

cayc posted 6/1/2013 07:32 AM

Why do you keep giving these a**holes second chances? That opening gambit of his was pure lying manipulation. Why take it any further?

Hope24 posted 6/1/2013 07:57 AM

Shelly, I know you're a good person with the best of intentions, but you let these conversations go too far. It looks like encouragement to them. Enforce your boundaries way earlier and save yourself some grief.

She11ybeanz posted 6/1/2013 21:37 PM

Your profile might need a bit of a rewrite if it's bringing in so many guys who don't understand the concept of your lifestyle. If your profile clearly articulates (near the beginning of a section, so even those skimming will see it) that you have a daughter, are busy, need to make plans well in advance, and are looking for someone and something that will fit into that lifestyle, it'll be easy to redirect guys back to your first point of contact together, i.e. them reading your profile, and just shut them down.

Amazonia, SADLY.... YES!!!! I made this CRYSTAL clear.....I seem to have a problem with guys that just look at my pictures (and no...nothing out of the way..just normal pictures...and NOT reading my profile....and them just contacting me.... I just don't get it!!! I hate it! And, yet again...I attract the usual douchebags... don't worry...he is blocked!!! Unbelievable!)

She11ybeanz posted 6/1/2013 21:39 PM

I have actually said " if I were your daughter, what would you think of some guy wanting to come to her house at midnight? Now safe is that?"

Williesmom....I should have tried this!!! Like Seriously!

She11ybeanz posted 6/1/2013 21:41 PM

You guys are all right...I should have popped his balloon WAY sooner in the conversation! To be honest....as soon as he sent me that 1st text almost 2 days later.....I should have X'd the wind from his sails!

Thank you guys for keeping me sane!!! I love you all!

UndecidedinMA posted 6/3/2013 09:28 AM

you would be surprised how much this works, and even less!!

I met my guy OLD & the stories he can tell of some of women he met The only picture he had that was anywhere like that was him playing basketball with the guys - shirts & skins. He got more pictures of boobs than I knew existed

BTW all erased and not mine!!!

She11ybeanz posted 6/3/2013 09:35 AM

WOW....it just amazes me that those lines work! He had a lot of nerve asking if "I wouldn't mind him coming to my place!"

UM....as a matter of fact...YES...YES I mind....you manwhore!

I've gone over a year now without sex....and I can go a lot longer..... for I am a sex camel.

And, now I shall trot my happy little butt across the desert in search for an oasis...instead of a mirage!

PanicAttack53 posted 6/3/2013 13:00 PM

Mini t/j and vent here

This is exactly why it's so hard for a *real* guy to to come across as well... REAL and it pisses me off to no end. Idiots like this get their jollies by pawning themselves off as good guys and waiting for a crack in the door so they can pounce with their bullshit pick up, or worse one night stand lines. Grrrrrrrrr!!!

BTW, believe it or not, this type of behavior is not gender specific. Sorry, t/j and mini vent over.

She11ybeanz, I'm so sorry you had to run into one of these idiots. Please know there *are* guys out there that still respect the process and women in general.

[This message edited by PanicAttack53 at 1:05 PM, June 3rd (Monday)]

She11ybeanz posted 6/3/2013 19:57 PM

PanicAttack53..... Thank you!

I do still have hope that there are still good guys out there....and have faith that perhaps chivalry isn't dead...

VioletPush posted 6/4/2013 09:33 AM

I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but why did you continue this back and forth with him and why did you send him your picture?

You seemed to know this guy wasn't right for you, but you continued to encourage him. Do you think you enjoyed his "attention" and just wanted to keep it going a bit even after you knew what kind of encounter he was looking for?

You say you always attract men like him, but it doesn't seem from this example that you're able to firmly resist their pull. I mean, not that you invited him over... But you participated in his game longer than necessary.

Just a thought...

She11ybeanz posted 6/4/2013 10:03 AM

I didn't know his intentions until AFTER I had sent him my picture. He didn't mention coming to my house or send me his inappropriate photo until after I had done that. I would have never sent him any photo if he had acted like that first. No way! Once I shut him down when he wanted to come over, I kindly said I had to go to bed and said goodnight and then promptly blocked him from my phone.

Housefulloflove posted 6/6/2013 14:58 PM

LOL! I've been out of the dating game for a decade (my entire adult life lol!) so I'm a little shocked at the...um...bravery(?) that some guys show.

I'm attracted to guys who are a bit aggressive and shows interest from the beginning but it seems that many guys think some compliments and some porn-level selfies is enough to "charm" a girl out of her pants. lol! Nope, not this one.

She11ybeanz, I would be seriously be disheartened if I were actually *looking* for a new guy. So many out there are complete idiots with ZERO game like the unfortunate loser you encountered.

Right now I'm mostly focusing on working on myself and how I present myself. Although I will admit that I do enjoy the attention from the sexy but idiotic men I seem to attract right now before shutting them completely down. Hopefully the quality of guys who approach me will increase significantly. lol!

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