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New Beginnings :
Healed but not wanting to date...

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 feelinghurt10 (original poster member #28600) posted at 12:32 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013

I feel like I am healed ... like that was a chapter in my life that is now closed ... it's over and done.

But yet I have NO intention on dating... not even an interest.

Maybe I've come to enjoy the independence ... just my kids and I ... Maybe I am too controlling and want things "my" way (which by being single I get)

It seems like everyone feels like you "need" someone in your life ... I just can't see that.

Maybe when my kids are grown I'll feel differently ??? but for now I have absolutely no interest.

I hope that's ok ...

Me- BS-51. Dday #1 4/3/2010 ; Officially divorced - 10/26/2012"No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." ~Maya Angelou

posts: 2111   ·   registered: May. 25th, 2010
id 6357563
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JessicaFL127 ( member #26864) posted at 12:52 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013

I agree. I have a slight urge to date now (and a mini-crush on a friend ) but I am loving my family the way it is and I don't know if I want to change anything.

BW,35
divorced for 10 years
Happily remarried to a much better choice.:D
mom to two awesome boys,14 and 13
And now to a beautiful baby girl, 1 <3

"But you said your vows, and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you

posts: 1286   ·   registered: Dec. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Missouri
id 6357572
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CallMeRed1 ( member #36870) posted at 12:59 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013

I can totally relate to this. I'm enjoying not having to answer to another person at the moment. 3 young children are keeping me busy enough.

We'll all get there eventually, I bet.

D-Day mid 2012
I was the BS
Status: Divorced early 2013

posts: 442   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2012   ·   location: England
id 6357577
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 3:26 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013

I hope that's ok ...

I think it's great. As long as you and your kids are doing well and moving forward then all is well fh10.

I think it's far too close to final D to have any concern about this. Enjoy the time enjoying you.

I've dated on and off since DDay, just ended an 8 month relationship, and now I think I am finally ready to just focus on ME and my kids and who I want to be. So, in a sense, I'm in awe that you've started out that way.

I think you'll know when you're ready.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6357688
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bbee ( member #17840) posted at 7:45 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013

You and me both, sister.

This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1

posts: 6681   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2008   ·   location: SE US
id 6357920
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 9:02 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013

We are the same age, and I'm in a very similar spot.

I talked with my IC about this...lack of need for a boyfriend. She said it can be perfectly normal. I know I have very high walls up, only one guy made it through and it didn't work. She said I am very healed, I just don't want to deal with the trouble of a relationship.

I have so much on my plate that many days the thought of a relationship makes me squirm. My IC said that when the right person comes along, and it is EASY, then I will want it. I guess I just don't want something that requires too much effort on my part.

I think it is well within the normal range of behavior post S/D. She also told me many women don't date again until the children are out of the house.

Not wanting to date has nothing to do with not being healed.

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6357980
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 9:04 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2013

I think if it works for you, then it's more than ok. I am not dating. I figure if I'm destined to be with someone then it will happen when the time is right.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6357986
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