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Healed but not wanting to date...

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feelinghurt10 posted 6/1/2013 06:32 AM

I feel like I am healed ... like that was a chapter in my life that is now closed ... it's over and done.
But yet I have NO intention on dating... not even an interest.
Maybe I've come to enjoy the independence ... just my kids and I ... Maybe I am too controlling and want things "my" way (which by being single I get)
It seems like everyone feels like you "need" someone in your life ... I just can't see that.
Maybe when my kids are grown I'll feel differently ??? but for now I have absolutely no interest.
I hope that's ok ...

JessicaFL127 posted 6/1/2013 06:52 AM

I agree. I have a slight urge to date now (and a mini-crush on a friend ) but I am loving my family the way it is and I don't know if I want to change anything.

CallMeRed1 posted 6/1/2013 06:59 AM

I can totally relate to this. I'm enjoying not having to answer to another person at the moment. 3 young children are keeping me busy enough.

We'll all get there eventually, I bet.

persevere posted 6/1/2013 09:26 AM

I hope that's ok ...
I think it's great. As long as you and your kids are doing well and moving forward then all is well fh10.

I think it's far too close to final D to have any concern about this. Enjoy the time enjoying you.

I've dated on and off since DDay, just ended an 8 month relationship, and now I think I am finally ready to just focus on ME and my kids and who I want to be. So, in a sense, I'm in awe that you've started out that way.

I think you'll know when you're ready.

bbee posted 6/1/2013 13:45 PM

You and me both, sister.

cmego posted 6/1/2013 15:02 PM

We are the same age, and I'm in a very similar spot.

I talked with my IC about this...lack of need for a boyfriend. She said it can be perfectly normal. I know I have very high walls up, only one guy made it through and it didn't work. She said I am very healed, I just don't want to deal with the trouble of a relationship.

I have so much on my plate that many days the thought of a relationship makes me squirm. My IC said that when the right person comes along, and it is EASY, then I will want it. I guess I just don't want something that requires too much effort on my part.

I think it is well within the normal range of behavior post S/D. She also told me many women don't date again until the children are out of the house.

Not wanting to date has nothing to do with not being healed.

jo2love posted 6/1/2013 15:04 PM

I think if it works for you, then it's more than ok. I am not dating. I figure if I'm destined to be with someone then it will happen when the time is right.

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