Topic: Are you single or divorced???
Member # 36827
| Posted: 10:13 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
So many forms, questionnaires, etc have the bullseye with these choices, and I'm curious how/when/why you folks answer, even if there is no benefit/detriment by your answer?
I'm guessing some of it is situational, perhaps some legal at very specific instances... Thanks, and single works for me.
D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 48
One DD 20
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!
The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...
Posts: 674 | Registered: Sep 2012
Member # 36060
| Posted: 10:22 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
If "separated" is an option, I choose that. If I was D, I would choose that. If there's no "separated", I'm stuck with "married", because I am still technically M until D is final. Not single, though, because on forms where they give divorced as an option, single is "never married".
Edit: that didn't need a target
[This message edited by roughroadahead at 10:28 AM, June 1st (Saturday)]
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
2 DS and DD all w/autism
Posts: 751 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Member # 34146
| Posted: 10:34 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
If there is no legal reason, I put single. It just makes me happier :)
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
Posts: 4187 | Registered: Dec 2011
|Sad in AZ|
Member # 24239
| Posted: 10:35 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
I believe in honesty and accuracy. If there is a choice that includes single and divorced, I would choose divorced. I was married; I am now divorced. Single, to me, indicates you were never married. I have nothing to hide.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Posts: 24548 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Southern New Mexico
Member # 24518
| Posted: 11:12 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
I'm with SiA. I have no problems checking the divorced box. But I do check the "Ms." box now, instead of the "Mrs." It just seems weird to be called Mrs Lastname now, since I kept my married name but I'm not married to ex anymore.
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do. ~ Brené Brown
Posts: 12843 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
Member # 38681
| Posted: 1:43 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
I choose "Divorce".
I hate it when the other options appear: did you pay alimony?
How much CS?
DS: 3 year old.
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.
Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 38378
| Posted: 3:57 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
I put "separated", as the divorce is not final.
And I put "Ms", though I loathe it.
I feel too old for "Miss" and don't like that, either!
People are starting to refer to me as "Ms" or just my name and it's surreal. Sometimes I don't reply because I don't know it's me!
Yes, single is a good one and very new, too!
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
Posts: 3031 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 27035
| Posted: 8:19 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
I have always put divorced. I have been contemplating starting to put single - probably because I am finally thinking about dating. When I was cringing at the very thought of dating, "divorced" seemed like a layer of protection. Weird how my mind works, I know.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 29183
| Posted: 8:49 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
On legal forms, I put divorced. On anything else, I'm single.
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Member # 32554
| Posted: 9:49 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
I'm still married (dammit), so that's what I check. Unless Separated is an option, then I check that. When the time comes I don't think I'll have any issues checking Divorced. After all, that's the truth, and considering how hard I've worked to accomplish that status, and how much money it's cost to attain it
, last thing I'll do is deny it!
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 36134
| Posted: 10:23 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013|
I check divorced. I opt for Ms. although some of my kids friends still call me Mrs. lastname. good thing XH's NW wasn't around.. she does not like that we have the same name.
Oh well, sucks to not be the original.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Posts: 6695 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 35229
| Posted: 8:03 AM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
Posts: 5988 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 33698
| Posted: 5:41 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
I choose separated for now if that's an option. If not, then I pick divorced. I'm still not actually divorced, but "stuck in separation/divorce limbo" isn't a choice!
FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Posts: 4079 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 18334
| Posted: 6:46 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013|
During the divorce I was either seperated or married because I was not single or divorced yet. I put myself as single except for legal documents. Then I am divorced.
I think...therefore, I'm single.
It is what it is.
Posts: 4883 | Registered: Feb 2008
Member # 32789
| Posted: 8:03 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
We were common law so I put single sometimes since I was never married.
I guess I fall into the perpetually separated category.
It occurred to me that I don't have that final piece of paper to show that it's over. It keeps me in limbo a bit.
Anyone else have this problem?
BS: (Me) 48
Kids: twins DD(11)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved an ocean away June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"
Posts: 1813 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
|Topic Posts: 15|