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Newest Member: farmgrl (61811)

User Topic: Are you single or divorced???
♂ 36827
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So many forms, questionnaires, etc have the bullseye with these choices, and I'm curious how/when/why you folks answer, even if there is no benefit/detriment by your answer?

I'm guessing some of it is situational, perhaps some legal at very specific instances... Thanks, and single works for me.

D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 48
Xcheater 45
One DD 20
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...

Posts: 674 | Registered: Sep 2012
♀ 36060
Member # 36060
Target  Posted: 10:22 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If "separated" is an option, I choose that. If I was D, I would choose that. If there's no "separated", I'm stuck with "married", because I am still technically M until D is final. Not single, though, because on forms where they give divorced as an option, single is "never married".

Edit: that didn't need a target

[This message edited by roughroadahead at 10:28 AM, June 1st (Saturday)]

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 751 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
♀ 34146
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If there is no legal reason, I put single. It just makes me happier :)

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 4491 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe in honesty and accuracy. If there is a choice that includes single and divorced, I would choose divorced. I was married; I am now divorced. Single, to me, indicates you were never married. I have nothing to hide.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 24518
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with SiA. I have no problems checking the divorced box. But I do check the "Ms." box now, instead of the "Mrs." It just seems weird to be called Mrs Lastname now, since I kept my married name but I'm not married to ex anymore.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

Posts: 13042 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
♂ 38681
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I choose "Divorce".
I hate it when the other options appear: did you pay alimony?
How much CS?

BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I put "separated", as the divorce is not final.

And I put "Ms", though I loathe it.

I feel too old for "Miss" and don't like that, either!

People are starting to refer to me as "Ms" or just my name and it's surreal. Sometimes I don't reply because I don't know it's me!

Yes, single is a good one and very new, too!

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 3034 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have always put divorced. I have been contemplating starting to put single - probably because I am finally thinking about dating. When I was cringing at the very thought of dating, "divorced" seemed like a layer of protection. Weird how my mind works, I know.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 29183
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On legal forms, I put divorced. On anything else, I'm single.

3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know."
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still married (dammit), so that's what I check. Unless Separated is an option, then I check that. When the time comes I don't think I'll have any issues checking Divorced. After all, that's the truth, and considering how hard I've worked to accomplish that status, and how much money it's cost to attain it, last thing I'll do is deny it!

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:23 PM, June 1st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I check divorced. I opt for Ms. although some of my kids friends still call me Mrs. lastname. good thing XH's NW wasn't around.. she does not like that we have the same name. Oh well, sucks to not be the original.



I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh well, sucks to not be the original.

I made my lawyer spit his coffee with this one: "Everybody knows sequels are nowhere near as awesome as the original!".

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 6011 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I choose separated for now if that's an option. If not, then I pick divorced. I'm still not actually divorced, but "stuck in separation/divorce limbo" isn't a choice!

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 4079 | Registered: Oct 2011
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

During the divorce I was either seperated or married because I was not single or divorced yet. I put myself as single except for legal documents. Then I am divorced.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

Posts: 4939 | Registered: Feb 2008
♀ 32789
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We were common law so I put single sometimes since I was never married.

I guess I fall into the perpetually separated category.

It occurred to me that I don't have that final piece of paper to show that it's over. It keeps me in limbo a bit.

Anyone else have this problem?

BS: (Me) 48
Kids: twins DD(11)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved an ocean away June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Topic Posts: 15

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