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OW got married yesterday.

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inahurricane posted 6/2/2013 10:18 AM

So first off at 3+ years out, much of the time things are good and I really should post some of that as it may help someone else. sigh.

But today, today is really not one of those days. there is more. I can't bring this up to FWH he thinks it is is over, so I came here.

I found out that this is the weekend of her marriage and I can't stop looking at her facebook page. The one pix of her there in her wedding dress - well it hurts. I come crashing down, despair, hopelessness, but I still look to see if there are more pictures, if I can figure out where the wedding took place, etc.etc.

It is like cutting, mental cutting. What the Hell is wrong with me?

wanttogoforward posted 6/2/2013 10:59 AM

There is nothing wrong with you! the anger you feel is a normal response to what appears to be her ability to move on with her life, experience a new love without the baggage and just have no consequences to her behavior... all while you are still struggling and feel as though you are paying the ulimate price for something you didn't even do.....

Remember that what her life appears to be on the outside is likely just a sham and quite likely won't last- after all she obviously doesn't have high moral standards based on past behavior....
Move forward and live the best life you can for you... and for your sanity stop looking at her facebook.

BeyondBreaking posted 6/2/2013 11:11 AM

I can completely relate.

Here she destroyed your marriage, and is not experiencing the best time of her life. It's like she walked away unscathed and without any consequences.

I still feel that way sometimes about the one OW in particular that I loathe. Anytime I catch wind that she is enjoying life or smiling in any way, it makes me so mad I could kick a puppy! I found out that OW had a little boy four months ago, and I threw up. First of all that someone would willingly have sex with her (she is really fat and really gross and has a lisp). Second, that now there is a little tiny version of her running around...we need that like we need another world war as far as I am concerned. Third (do I get a third of all?) that she is happy and making a family, and living out no consequences after what she did to mine. Here her son is growing up with his two parents... While my little girl has parents who are not together. It's completely unfair. I honestly don't think she deserves one second of happiness. Someone should lock her in a freezing cabin in Antarctica, throw away the key, and leave her all alone out there forever and always!! At the same time...I also get curious and want to look. It's like when I see someone pulled over to the side of the road on the freeway and throwing up. I know it is gross, and yet I turn and look anyway. Why? I don't really know.

The way you are feeling is completely normal. She shouldn't be getting married, and just going on with her life after participating in the destruction of yours.

Here's to hoping that the airline loses all of her luggage on her honeymoon. And that wherever they are going, it rains the entire time. And she gets a yeast infection (or scabies...I like that, lets give her scabies!). And that the mosquito population is BOOMING this year.

BeyondBreaking posted 6/2/2013 11:18 AM

*and before anyone says anything, I apologize. I didn't mean to bash the own as much as I did. I just got reminded of a really triggering situation for me. :(

authenticnow posted 6/2/2013 11:59 AM


Please stick to the forum guidelines.

A wonderful place to share your struggles, success stories and triggers while trying to reconcile.It's a long road, but you can do it! There is to be no venting about or name calling the OP in this forum.

Thank you.

s+++forbrains posted 6/2/2013 12:10 PM

Hugs to you inahurricane! My ws's ap got married to someone else and it was a punch in the gut. I keep telling myself she broke vows to his first husband, she was involved with my ws breaking his vows, she has to live with herself. I have never cheated in any relationship and I can hold my head up in that knowledge, as can you!!!

Undone1 posted 6/2/2013 12:23 PM

We all know that the OW is very messed up and although she may seem to be happy, that won't last. Karma is a B*tc*!

refuz2bavictim posted 6/2/2013 14:35 PM

It's hard to think that someone who can inflict so much hurt might get to go on through life happily ever after. Statistically speaking, that won't be the most likely scenario.

It's best not to allow her happiness or misery determine yours.

Still it's difficult not to look.

I really had to resist the urge with a vengeance not to look back at MOW's work page, once I became aware of it's existence. Regardless of the path her life takes, I can't allow it to become a factor in my own.

Give yourself a break. There is nothing "wrong" with you. You will bounce back and refocus on the good, once you have had a little time to process this.

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