Things are all good here too as long as I have no triggers, don't mention the A and act like a happy, devoted wife. He has no empathy and still has horrible boundaries with women. The 180 would have driven him straight to an A, he would have used it to prove that I don't love him enough...
Last week my DS1 brought me flowers for mother's day. WH said "Those are nice, but are they going to make you trigger?" He said it not nicely, not caringly, but sarcastic and snide. And I didn't care.
I wish I could tell you what happened, I know when. I know the exact moment when I saw who he was on the inside. He has shown me over and over the last two years. I don't know what was different that day, but it was like a little bubble popped. And just like that I no longer cared. He no longer upsets me. And I know I will D as soon as possible and be fine.
I hope you get to this point too. Being married to someone that doesn't fully meet your needs is one thing. Being married to someone that makes you miserable is another.