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Newest Member: Mitzia (61559)

User Topic: Dislikes from pre affair marriage amplified
♀ 38650
Member # 38650
Default  Posted: 6:00 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know no one is perfect and we are all flawed. We all have something that needs to be forgiven.
I find myself truly struggling with the things that I had decided to live with before his a. Things I had no knowledge of before getting married because he hid them completely or presented in a different light. Those things/issues have become so amplified that I feel I don't even like him. In addition to his a, I am having a difficult time accepting these things again. We are complete opposites, but his a has made that less of an attraction and more of a get the hell out. Did the a make it even more difficult to accept the things you weren't so fond of before?

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 24753
Member # 24753
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me it did. Little things that were just quirks pre-A became giant thorns in my side post D-day. I found myself very critical of everything he did. I think I was just hurting so much and my self-esteem had done a swan dive off a 300 foot cliff, that I needed to find as many things wrong with him as possible just to get through the day. I wanted to just stack blame on him for every single thing I could find. I think it's just a general disdain we feel after that betrayal.

"The truth shall set you free... but first it's really gonna piss you off!"
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house you can never tell."

Posts: 1576 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: United States
♀ 25690
Member # 25690
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, the A amplified the little things for me. In fact if exfwh is near me now even his gum chewing will set me off.
I used to tolerate a lot because I loved him and thought that the little things should be overlooked, no one is perfect after all (me included). But now that he cheated and lied and lied and lied....doesn't seem fair for my tolerance to continue.

D-Day July 14, 2009
4 kids
BW, 41
D and healing, one day at a time

Posts: 1067 | Registered: Sep 2009
Topic Posts: 3

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