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Dislikes from pre affair marriage amplified

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41andthankful posted 6/3/2013 06:00 AM

I know no one is perfect and we are all flawed. We all have something that needs to be forgiven.
I find myself truly struggling with the things that I had decided to live with before his a. Things I had no knowledge of before getting married because he hid them completely or presented in a different light. Those things/issues have become so amplified that I feel I don't even like him. In addition to his a, I am having a difficult time accepting these things again. We are complete opposites, but his a has made that less of an attraction and more of a get the hell out. Did the a make it even more difficult to accept the things you weren't so fond of before?

CryingGreenEyes posted 6/3/2013 07:20 AM

For me it did. Little things that were just quirks pre-A became giant thorns in my side post D-day. I found myself very critical of everything he did. I think I was just hurting so much and my self-esteem had done a swan dive off a 300 foot cliff, that I needed to find as many things wrong with him as possible just to get through the day. I wanted to just stack blame on him for every single thing I could find. I think it's just a general disdain we feel after that betrayal.

luvedmypbear posted 6/3/2013 07:20 AM

Yes, the A amplified the little things for me. In fact if exfwh is near me now even his gum chewing will set me off.
I used to tolerate a lot because I loved him and thought that the little things should be overlooked, no one is perfect after all (me included). But now that he cheated and lied and lied and lied....doesn't seem fair for my tolerance to continue.

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