Member # 10002
| Posted: 4:39 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
Almost a year ago, I applied to have my CS modified through the attorney general. I did it because my monthly health insurance cost(i cover the girls) doubled.
Ex-h is a cop and the % of CS he paid is not based on his total income. I was nice when we split & let him have a lower %. He pays 17% of his income because his total income was based on a series of extra-jobs that can come or go.
Well, the modification has come up and my ex is frantic. He has texted me multiple time and called me twice. I replied to his 1st text explaining that I filed a modification for insurance. I then spoke to him to and explained (again) the situation. He has presented me with a few options to not go through the attorney general (like adding the girls to his insurance).
He is now (again) telling me that his salary income is SO much lower and it's all based on extra jobs. I don't want to be a money grubber but if his income is that inflated by extra-jobs, why aren't the girls benefiting from it? Why do I feel like the bad guy for just asking him to pay the % of his total income like everyone else does? Am I being unreasonable?
Posts: 1064 | Registered: Mar 2006
Member # 19595
| Posted: 6:47 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
I would go through the court as planned.
He is the one that needs to convince and show evidence to the court if his income is lower. The burden is on him that is why he's frantic now.
If he's a cop then the court will make sure the children are on insurance and garnish wages so they have the CS they deserve.
Go through the court !!!! Then you have recourse if necessary.
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
Posts: 20489 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Member # 35812
| Posted: 6:59 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
You were nice once. That should be his last freebee. Let the court determine what's correct.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 10172 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
|Helen of Troy|
Member # 26419
| Posted: 7:13 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
Am I being unreasonable?
Posts: 4809 | Registered: Dec 2009
Member # 28851
| Posted: 7:24 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
Get what you are legally entitled to for your children.
Me: 43 and fabulous!
3 children ages 13, 15 and 17
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Re-married a wonderful man.
Posts: 345 | Registered: Jun 2010
Member # 35150
| Posted: 7:54 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
Please, go through the courts!
Digging Deep in the Mud
Posts: 235 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Virginia
Member # 36134
| Posted: 8:02 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
Get what your children are entitled to. They may not need it now, Then save it. They may need it when they go to college. or leave college for a job.. it could really help a graduate out... any amount would.
He needs to be responsible at least minimal financial responsible.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 31468
| Posted: 9:15 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013|
I know a lot of cops and they make a lot of $$$ from the side jobs. Income is income. He got away from excluding it for quite a while, now he won't for a while. He has two alternatives - step up the side jobs, or stop them and suck it up for a year until he can show substantially less income. (I doubt he goes with the second). I say you let the court do it's job. Let's think about this for a minute - without this incentive would he have EVER offered other options? (The expected answer is no, because, typically, it is all about him....)
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
Posts: 5292 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 28376
| Posted: 12:07 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Go thru the courts. If he is a cop then he has good insurance.
My kids get his insurance AND percent of his entire income.
Yours should too.
Save any extra, they always need it for college, graduation, whatever he is not saving for them.
Me: 45/WH (SA): 49
M: 26 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce halted
Posts: 1260 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 38377
| Posted: 12:17 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Why do I feel like the bad guy for just asking him to pay the % of his total income like everyone else does? Am I being unreasonable?
I can't stand when they try to make us feel bad for asking for what is RIGHTFULLY ours. Especially regarding the children. NO, YOU AREN'T BEING UNREASONABLE. I think you were TOO reasonable allowing him to pay less than he should. It's for your kids!! FTG!!
Two DS~ 9 and 13
Posts: 3120 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
|Topic Posts: 10|