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Newest Member: chachapoppyseed (45751)

User Topic: vent
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm really pissed today, and I can't seem to snap out of it..

Maybe it's really hitting me about losing my dream about being a normal family like I was raised with. You know, like hey honey, I'm gonna hop in the shower, run to the store, go out with my friends tonight, could you do the dishes?, could you take out the trash?, how about we take the kids here for vacation?, etc., etc., etc. It was supposed to be teamwork. We were supposed to be a team and raise this family.

I'm mad I know this will never be a reality anymore. I'm mad I have to start over.

I'm mad he blameshifted and gaslighted me and made me feel bad about myself for so long.

I'm mad he keeps cursing me out, and I have to keep ignoring him.

I'm mad that slut, skank, whore, bitch other woman is forgiving him for cheating on her and continues to stick around "for the kids." THEY DON'T FUCKING NEED YOU BITCH. She must be the neediest stupid bitch I know with no other fucking friends or family, so she's trying to make it worth with that piece of shit. Why can't she stop stroking his fucking ego and helping him??

I'm mad and anxious about mediation next week. The dipshit probably still won't have all his financials turned in, and I better start getting the standard every other weekend visitation or I will be PISSED. If he's working and I can be watching the kids, IT SHOULD BE ME, NOT THAT SKANK FUCKING WHORE.

I'm mad these narcissistic assholes can always find new victims. When they can't manipulate someone anymore, they just leave on an angry, blamshifting, gaslighting note and move on to the next person, who hopefully will feel "sorry" for him for all the people that dropped him in his life. I would be horrified to lose my friends and family over my actions, and he doesn't give a damn!!

I'm mad they don't bring the scarlet letter back and tattoo that shit on their forehead.

I'm mad I keep trying to be Miss Perfect and follow all the rules and look perfect to a judge, and he can be a complete total dickhead to me, break all the rules, lie to and gaslight my own children and force them to lie to me and his stupid other woman, and it still hasn't fucking mattered yet. THIS SHIT BETTER MATTER.

I'm mad he keeps acting like if he follows a rule once in a while, he's doing me a fucking favor.

I don't even want mediation anymore. I want a judge to slam him over the head with a gavel and put him in his place.


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2697 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
FieldsOfLavender
♀ 39154
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, June 3rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm mad these narcissistic assholes can always find new victims. When they can't manipulate someone anymore, they just leave on an angry, blamshifting, gaslighting note and move on to the next person, who hopefully will feel "sorry" for him

This sounds like my STBX. I didn't realize that he was narcissistic but he is a pro at getting people to feel sorry for him. He learned it from his father.


Posts: 199 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amen, BG....to your entire rant. Awesome. And I really hope that your taking the *high road* ends up paying off for you.

My custody and financial mediations were separate deals. Is yours combined?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8187 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The high road hasn't served me at all, other than that I can claim I rode it.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10030 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 2:01 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My custody and financial mediations were separate deals. Is yours combined?

Yeah.. Our last mediation was 3 hours long. Barely touched anything financial as he blindsided me with wanting 50/50 visitation after having them 5 overnights a month for over 5 months since separation. I was NOT expecting that AT ALL. But I really think my biggest problem was my crappy-ass lawyer at the time, so I should be feeling better with my new lawyer, but I'm still nervous.. And angry. And having trouble sleeping. It's pretty bad when the anxiety overcomes prescription and OTC sleeping meds..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2697 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome vent and I completely hear you. It's sad when they've affaired down so far that their whore will do ANYTHING to keep them. Stripper whore is the same way with ex-shat
Fuck them. We have standards.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4745 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and that high road can be lonely and precarious. But I like being a class act...I travel the high road for myself not for him or anyone else.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4745 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Vulcanized
♀ 33523
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The high road hasn't served me at all, other than that I can claim I rode it.

You'll never run into XH & slunt du-jour there, either.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Helen of Troy
♀ 26419
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm mad these narcissistic assholes can always find new victims. When they can't manipulate someone anymore, they just leave on an angry, blamshifting, gaslighting note and move on to the next person, who hopefully will feel "sorry" for him

Yup all too familiar here too.
x: "Oh woe is me, everyone ruins my life and are big meanies to me."

new victim: "Oh you poor dear, how could anyone think ou are that way or treat you so badly?!"

x: "How about I trick you for awhile and you live your life only to cater to MY needs? After all, you are so lucky to have me. You're special because I chose to give my attention to you."


Posts: 4725 | Registered: Dec 2009
jackie89
♀ 38271
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Vent ButterflyGirl!

It's so sad, that after all we did to these ashats, it comes down to money! Do you think that's why he went for the 50/50 custody?

I can't imagine having to share my kids with an OW! But you are strong and you will prevail with your new lawyer.

I'm meeting with my lawyer today, so that I can move on with the divorce, custody of my 14YR, child support, alimony - the works. Can't wait for this new HELL to start!

Hang in there!


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you think that's why he went for the 50/50 custody?

Absolutely. He never even ASKED me for more time before mediation. Looking back, I realize that he knew the first mediation was when they would finally set a child support amount, so OF COURSE he started asking for more time.

It's just so irritating that all that documenting I was doing didn't matter at all.. But I'm still documenting, and I will keep taking the high road and hope it pays off.

And it's true, I will never run into him or slunt du-jour this high up, so I'm staying here.. Doesn't mean I don't want to get some revenge and be a bitch and do something like throw bologna on his car. I hear that works pretty well at ruining the paint..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2697 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
abigailadams
♀ 37556
Member # 37556
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL. Bologna on his car. I love this idea.

Or a judge slamming him with a gavel. That works too.


Me BS 55
Him WS 53
Married 10 years together 13
DDay October 11, 2012

Posts: 134 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Brooklyn, NY
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL. Bologna on his car. I love this idea.

Gotta find the humor in this bull crap somewhere, right? Was hoping someone would enjoy my funny

For the record, I haven't ACTUALLY done this, and I won't ACTUALLY do it, but in my head, I've done it plenty of times already. And one of them wasn't his car..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2697 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
ruinedandbroken
♀ 29250
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Butterfly girl, I can relate to everything you said. ((BG))

And I live the bologna on the car idea! Lol


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:32 AM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've said here before I'd love to fling my shit at him and all of the OW but... my shit deserves better.

Your bologna does too.

In any event the karma bus is far more satisfying when you're not the one driving.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5660 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
stronggirl72
♀ 37293
Member # 37293
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love it! Every single word.

My advice is to *try* to be patient with mediation. I (think) I know all so well how you're feeling right now. STBX and I were in mediation for over a year, but I think I made it worse (mentally) by trying to rush things along in my mind. Take it step by step. You can do it -- you ARE doing it.

Great post!

[This message edited by stronggirl72 at 7:10 PM, June 6th (Thursday)]


"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!


Posts: 155 | Registered: Oct 2012
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the support everyone. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in my anger..

My advice is to *try* to be patient with mediation.

That's great advice. I think I'm very patient when it comes to finally being divorced. I'm covered with the best health insurance I've heard of by him right now, so I'm in no rush to get this finalized.. The kid issues are the things I don't want to wait on. I want answers and rules NOW. Then I don't mind if he fights me for years over a dollar..

But I'm not even the one delaying it.. I can't believe the things he's been hiding during discovery.. He's more of a snake then I realized.. And what's so funny is that he keeps telling me things like: "I'm so ready to be divorced and free from you." "Just hurry this up." "Why are you making this so difficult?" "There is nothing more than I want to get this over with, that way you and your family can be out of my life."

It would be a long post, but I'm tempted to share our emails here just from the last week. The amount of lies and gaslighting and blameshifting is ridiculous, it's almost funny. He just doesn't get it to shut up about the emotions!! Good for you you're ready for the divorce. Me too dipshit. That's why I filed!!


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2697 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well said! And who knew about bologna as a potential tool for well-deserved vandalism??! Learn something new every day.

However, as someone who likes bologna, that would be a supreme waste of processed sandwich fun.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3644 | Registered: Oct 2011
stronggirl72
♀ 37293
Member # 37293
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Why are you making this so difficult?"

^^ Oh yes, I think when my STBX said things like that it meant more like, "why won't you just give me what I want?" Um, sorry...the financial future of the children is just not negotiable. Keep up the good work.

(((ButterflyGirl)))


"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!


Posts: 155 | Registered: Oct 2012
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, June 6th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And who knew about bologna as a potential tool for well-deserved vandalism??!

I didn't know about it till talking to my friend and her roommate about him, and the roommate suggested we do it. Apparently she's been cheated on

I've said here before I'd love to fling my shit at him and all of the OW but... my shit deserves better. Your bologna does too.

You're absolutely right


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2697 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Topic Posts: 21
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