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ButterflyGirl posted 6/3/2013 23:29 PM

I'm really pissed today, and I can't seem to snap out of it..

Maybe it's really hitting me about losing my dream about being a normal family like I was raised with. You know, like hey honey, I'm gonna hop in the shower, run to the store, go out with my friends tonight, could you do the dishes?, could you take out the trash?, how about we take the kids here for vacation?, etc., etc., etc. It was supposed to be teamwork. We were supposed to be a team and raise this family.

I'm mad I know this will never be a reality anymore. I'm mad I have to start over.

I'm mad he blameshifted and gaslighted me and made me feel bad about myself for so long.

I'm mad he keeps cursing me out, and I have to keep ignoring him.

I'm mad that slut, skank, whore, bitch other woman is forgiving him for cheating on her and continues to stick around "for the kids." THEY DON'T FUCKING NEED YOU BITCH. She must be the neediest stupid bitch I know with no other fucking friends or family, so she's trying to make it worth with that piece of shit. Why can't she stop stroking his fucking ego and helping him??

I'm mad and anxious about mediation next week. The dipshit probably still won't have all his financials turned in, and I better start getting the standard every other weekend visitation or I will be PISSED. If he's working and I can be watching the kids, IT SHOULD BE ME, NOT THAT SKANK FUCKING WHORE.

I'm mad these narcissistic assholes can always find new victims. When they can't manipulate someone anymore, they just leave on an angry, blamshifting, gaslighting note and move on to the next person, who hopefully will feel "sorry" for him for all the people that dropped him in his life. I would be horrified to lose my friends and family over my actions, and he doesn't give a damn!!

I'm mad they don't bring the scarlet letter back and tattoo that shit on their forehead.

I'm mad I keep trying to be Miss Perfect and follow all the rules and look perfect to a judge, and he can be a complete total dickhead to me, break all the rules, lie to and gaslight my own children and force them to lie to me and his stupid other woman, and it still hasn't fucking mattered yet. THIS SHIT BETTER MATTER.

I'm mad he keeps acting like if he follows a rule once in a while, he's doing me a fucking favor.

I don't even want mediation anymore. I want a judge to slam him over the head with a gavel and put him in his place.

FieldsOfLavender posted 6/3/2013 23:48 PM

I'm mad these narcissistic assholes can always find new victims. When they can't manipulate someone anymore, they just leave on an angry, blamshifting, gaslighting note and move on to the next person, who hopefully will feel "sorry" for him

This sounds like my STBX. I didn't realize that he was narcissistic but he is a pro at getting people to feel sorry for him. He learned it from his father.

gonnabe2016 posted 6/4/2013 00:43 AM

Amen, BG....to your entire rant. Awesome. And I really hope that your taking the *high road* ends up paying off for you.

My custody and financial mediations were separate deals. Is yours combined?

Nature_Girl posted 6/4/2013 00:55 AM

The high road hasn't served me at all, other than that I can claim I rode it.

ButterflyGirl posted 6/4/2013 02:01 AM

My custody and financial mediations were separate deals. Is yours combined?

Yeah.. Our last mediation was 3 hours long. Barely touched anything financial as he blindsided me with wanting 50/50 visitation after having them 5 overnights a month for over 5 months since separation. I was NOT expecting that AT ALL. But I really think my biggest problem was my crappy-ass lawyer at the time, so I should be feeling better with my new lawyer, but I'm still nervous.. And angry. And having trouble sleeping. It's pretty bad when the anxiety overcomes prescription and OTC sleeping meds..

tesla posted 6/4/2013 08:05 AM

Awesome vent and I completely hear you. It's sad when they've affaired down so far that their whore will do ANYTHING to keep them. Stripper whore is the same way with ex-shat
Fuck them. We have standards.

tesla posted 6/4/2013 08:08 AM

Oh, and that high road can be lonely and precarious. But I like being a class act...I travel the high road for myself not for him or anyone else.

Vulcanized posted 6/4/2013 08:15 AM

The high road hasn't served me at all, other than that I can claim I rode it.

You'll never run into XH & slunt du-jour there, either.

Helen of Troy posted 6/4/2013 08:17 AM


I'm mad these narcissistic assholes can always find new victims. When they can't manipulate someone anymore, they just leave on an angry, blamshifting, gaslighting note and move on to the next person, who hopefully will feel "sorry" for him

Yup all too familiar here too.
x: "Oh woe is me, everyone ruins my life and are big meanies to me."

new victim: "Oh you poor dear, how could anyone think ou are that way or treat you so badly?!"

x: "How about I trick you for awhile and you live your life only to cater to MY needs? After all, you are so lucky to have me. You're special because I chose to give my attention to you."

jackie89 posted 6/4/2013 08:17 AM

Good Vent ButterflyGirl!

It's so sad, that after all we did to these ashats, it comes down to money! Do you think that's why he went for the 50/50 custody?

I can't imagine having to share my kids with an OW! But you are strong and you will prevail with your new lawyer.

I'm meeting with my lawyer today, so that I can move on with the divorce, custody of my 14YR, child support, alimony - the works. Can't wait for this new HELL to start!

Hang in there!

ButterflyGirl posted 6/4/2013 08:35 AM

Do you think that's why he went for the 50/50 custody?

Absolutely. He never even ASKED me for more time before mediation. Looking back, I realize that he knew the first mediation was when they would finally set a child support amount, so OF COURSE he started asking for more time.

It's just so irritating that all that documenting I was doing didn't matter at all.. But I'm still documenting, and I will keep taking the high road and hope it pays off.

And it's true, I will never run into him or slunt du-jour this high up, so I'm staying here.. Doesn't mean I don't want to get some revenge and be a bitch and do something like throw bologna on his car. I hear that works pretty well at ruining the paint..

abigailadams posted 6/5/2013 22:08 PM

LOL. Bologna on his car. I love this idea.

Or a judge slamming him with a gavel. That works too.

ButterflyGirl posted 6/5/2013 22:43 PM

LOL. Bologna on his car. I love this idea.

Gotta find the humor in this bull crap somewhere, right? Was hoping someone would enjoy my funny

For the record, I haven't ACTUALLY done this, and I won't ACTUALLY do it, but in my head, I've done it plenty of times already. And one of them wasn't his car..

ruinedandbroken posted 6/5/2013 22:53 PM

Butterfly girl, I can relate to everything you said. ((BG))

And I live the bologna on the car idea! Lol

SBB posted 6/6/2013 01:32 AM

I've said here before I'd love to fling my shit at him and all of the OW but... my shit deserves better.

Your bologna does too.

In any event the karma bus is far more satisfying when you're not the one driving.

stronggirl72 posted 6/6/2013 19:09 PM

I love it! Every single word.

My advice is to *try* to be patient with mediation. I (think) I know all so well how you're feeling right now. STBX and I were in mediation for over a year, but I think I made it worse (mentally) by trying to rush things along in my mind. Take it step by step. You can do it -- you ARE doing it.

Great post!

[This message edited by stronggirl72 at 7:10 PM, June 6th (Thursday)]

ButterflyGirl posted 6/6/2013 20:11 PM

Thanks for all the support everyone. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in my anger..

My advice is to *try* to be patient with mediation.

That's great advice. I think I'm very patient when it comes to finally being divorced. I'm covered with the best health insurance I've heard of by him right now, so I'm in no rush to get this finalized.. The kid issues are the things I don't want to wait on. I want answers and rules NOW. Then I don't mind if he fights me for years over a dollar..

But I'm not even the one delaying it.. I can't believe the things he's been hiding during discovery.. He's more of a snake then I realized.. And what's so funny is that he keeps telling me things like: "I'm so ready to be divorced and free from you." "Just hurry this up." "Why are you making this so difficult?" "There is nothing more than I want to get this over with, that way you and your family can be out of my life."

It would be a long post, but I'm tempted to share our emails here just from the last week. The amount of lies and gaslighting and blameshifting is ridiculous, it's almost funny. He just doesn't get it to shut up about the emotions!! Good for you you're ready for the divorce. Me too dipshit. That's why I filed!!

tryingagain74 posted 6/6/2013 20:17 PM

Well said! And who knew about bologna as a potential tool for well-deserved vandalism??! Learn something new every day.

However, as someone who likes bologna, that would be a supreme waste of processed sandwich fun.

stronggirl72 posted 6/6/2013 20:20 PM

"Why are you making this so difficult?"

^^ Oh yes, I think when my STBX said things like that it meant more like, "why won't you just give me what I want?" Um, sorry...the financial future of the children is just not negotiable. Keep up the good work.

(((ButterflyGirl)))

ButterflyGirl posted 6/6/2013 20:23 PM

And who knew about bologna as a potential tool for well-deserved vandalism??!

I didn't know about it till talking to my friend and her roommate about him, and the roommate suggested we do it. Apparently she's been cheated on

I've said here before I'd love to fling my shit at him and all of the OW but... my shit deserves better. Your bologna does too.

You're absolutely right

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