Things have been moving forward, very slowly but calmly. WH has been finally starting to put in an effort. Partly due to my 180 i think, i hope.
I am starting to see that he perhaps wont give me all that i need to heal after all he has done to me with 2 x broken NC, TT and all the blameshifting. He is being helpful but i dont think he is willing to change enough for us to really heal properly.
Our weekends seem to be filled with great sex and verynopen communication. Cant say the same for monday to friday......hmmmm!
Last friday afternoon he came home from work grabbed some tools raced out the doorbto go help a mate. He usually always takes our son so he gets out of the house for a bit but not this time. He was out for a while and phoned to me to say go and meet up with him at a friends house. So we did.
He was all over me. Couldnt pay enough attention. Sounds great hey.....but felt unusual to me. Monday comes, loving attention gone. I check the phone log. Tracked his friday phone activity and the call to me was made from a location that has never shown up before and just so happens to be the OW's new location that she has recently moved to.
I question him. He pretends that this location was much farther away then where it is.......we both know where this location is.......ah der! He said he wasnt there. Deny deny deny....
I him it was a coincidence that the same suburb came up that the OW now lives in. He said he didnt know this. God i hate this stuff. Things have been slowly mending.
He then tells me angrily that he now has to defend himself. I reminded him that i have nothing to go on so i can believe him because he has always lied and hidden everything from me. Even refused twice to not change his phone number. Now he says, in a tone, that he will change it if i want.........
TOO LATE i said.......3 times i asked. Told him THAT boat has sailed. Why is everything like pulling teeth. He doesnt want to be inconvenience with a number change......boo hoo!
Starts throwing shit at me like he's over hearing me bring up the A stuff again. Cant question him. Then tells me he has just spent the last 3 days giving me attention.......how ungrateful of me. Thought that was a 2 way street.......so took myself off to bed. Felt crook with a sore throat. He sat on arse, no dinner cooked for our son. Gets up this morning for work. I felt so ill. Tells me he is going straight from work to help a mate with his brakes.
No call through the day to see how i am feeling, perhaps maybe come home first seeing we had a vile disgusting argument last night......NUP!..........we have to sell our home because of him and the bank is ready and waiting. He does nothing to help get it on the market..........obliviousbto daily living.....
Feel used, feel like a covenience.....just want to feel special. I have given my all and he has wiped his feet on me. He is a man child that think great weekend sex is all it takes.
Pfffftttttt...........if this is as good as it gets?