Yesterday was difficult. We decided to go out as a family for dinner. Which was great then we went for a walk in the park. We were enjoying ourselves just looking at nature and ran into some of our kids school friends. Then as we were walking I spotted the OM walking with AW. No, the fact that he is with someone else didn't bother me. My thoughts went to my BH that was walking beside me. The first thing he did was call him to my attention which bothered me because I was doing what I needed to do focus on my family. I told him that I didn't need to look over there. The entire time we were finishing our walk my husband kept looking back to see where he was on the trail. I tried to divert his attention back to our boys, who were walking in front of us.
That was the beginning of a bad night. Things got worse when we got home. We tried talking but it just turned into an argument. I told him that we should not live in a bubble while everyone else lives their lives. I understand he still hurts but I am tried of some of the things that come out of his mouth. After I hit rock bottom last night, I let him know that I will not be taken to dark place again to the point were I want to hurt myself. Which is were I was after last night blow out. I decided to stand up for myself.
I realize that I need to really thing about things because this is not healthy as much as I want to save my M it is not worth my life.
Married: 13 years, together for 15
D-DAY: May 14,2012
My D-Day: May 10,2012(the day OM told his W)
2 Children: 10 and 8
Life is an everyday struggle, it is how you choose to react to every situation that will guide your future.