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My (younger) brother had a stroke

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Sad in AZ posted 6/4/2013 12:00 PM

Ugh. He's been a very angry man for the past, maybe, 6 years. He was drinking excessively. He woke up two Sundays ago unable to see. The stroke has affected only his eyes, but it's to the point that he has only pinpoint tunnel vision (if he tries to read, he can see the word, but when he moves on to the next one, he can no longer see the first one.)

Mom is still slowly slipping into dementia; she is taking medication for it, but at night, she gets pretty wonky. She keeps talking about the kids never telling her where they're going and not coming home for dinner (she lives alone... )

My sister-in-law has been a doll--she does all kinds of things for mom including cleaning up her yard, and mom hates her. Now, SIL is going to have to devote more time to my brother, so mom's situation is going to have to change.

I almost have her convinced to move into a senior facility, but she's very paranoid (this is her normal, nondementia state) and while she wants friends, she doesn't know how to be one (never has.) She disclosed that she's come into 'a lot' of money; before I moved to TX, we moved all of her accounts from NY to AZ, so I don't know where this one came from, but she claims it's an investment account. When I asked her how much, she said, "I'm not telling you!"

Some good thoughts would be appreciated.

Deeply Scared posted 6/4/2013 12:02 PM

(((Sad))) Sounds like alot is going on in your family...good thoughts to you and all involved

itainteasy posted 6/4/2013 12:06 PM


I'll keep your family in my prayers..

ajsmom posted 6/4/2013 12:07 PM

Argh. What a plateful.

Prayers for your family.



sullymeishadomi posted 6/4/2013 12:11 PM


Tred posted 6/4/2013 12:13 PM

Damn Sad, sounds like a lot going on. Sending good thoughts your way.

simplydevastated posted 6/4/2013 12:14 PM

I feel for you, I really do. My grandmother had alzheimer's. It's hard to see someone going through that. I went over to help her one day, she walked from the kitchen to the living room then back to the kitchen and didn't know who I was.

An assisted living facility would be a good idea for your mom. They have people that can go in and check on her form time to time and it's not quite a nursing home.

Is your brother getting some kind of treatment for his stroke? How old is you brother, if you don't mind my asking.

Sending (((HUGS))) and positive thoughts your way.

GabyBaby posted 6/4/2013 12:16 PM

Hugs and positive thought for you and your family.

jo2love posted 6/4/2013 12:18 PM


I'm sorry for all you and your family are going through. Sending you strength and good thoughts.

wildbananas posted 6/4/2013 12:22 PM

You got it!


authenticnow posted 6/4/2013 12:23 PM


Sending lots of good thoughts your way.

lieshurt posted 6/4/2013 12:25 PM

I'm so sorry. Sending good thoughts your way.

TrulyReconciled posted 6/4/2013 12:39 PM

Sad, I'm very sorry to hear that news.

nowiknow23 posted 6/4/2013 12:43 PM

((((Sad)))) Holding you and your family in my thoughts. Hang in there, honey.

jrc1963 posted 6/4/2013 12:49 PM


That's a lot to handle. How are you taking it all?

I hold you in my thoughts while you deal with all this.

FaithFool posted 6/4/2013 13:36 PM


bbee posted 6/4/2013 13:39 PM


still2suspicious posted 6/4/2013 14:57 PM

Sending you strength, Sad.

jadedangel posted 6/4/2013 15:54 PM


I hate to hear that about your brother. Sounds like your sister in law will be real busy with him.

Your mother sounds like she "Sundowns". For some odd reason most dementia affected people tend to start getting worse with their symptoms at evening/night. In my opinion, I think a nursing home would be in her best interested but then again, it does depend on how far gone she is in the disease process.

IF she tends to get easily distracted, cannot hold her concentration for long periods of time, falls a lot, basically just not able to take care of her daily needs, these are things that really have to be looked at. Is she able to meet her basic needs without the assist of someone?

SoVerySadNow posted 6/4/2013 16:27 PM

Wishing you only positive things. I'm sorry you are dealing with so much.

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