Topic: My (younger) brother had a stroke
|Sad in AZ|
Member # 24239
| Posted: 12:00 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Ugh. He's been a very angry man for the past, maybe, 6 years. He was drinking excessively. He woke up two Sundays ago unable to see. The stroke has affected only his eyes, but it's to the point that he has only pinpoint tunnel vision (if he tries to read, he can see the word, but when he moves on to the next one, he can no longer see the first one.)
Mom is still slowly slipping into dementia; she is taking medication for it, but at night, she gets pretty wonky. She keeps talking about the kids never telling her where they're going and not coming home for dinner (she lives alone... )
My sister-in-law has been a doll--she does all kinds of things for mom including cleaning up her yard, and mom hates her. Now, SIL is going to have to devote more time to my brother, so mom's situation is going to have to change.
I almost have her convinced to move into a senior facility, but she's very paranoid (this is her normal, nondementia state) and while she wants friends, she doesn't know how to be one (never has.) She disclosed that she's come into 'a lot' of money; before I moved to TX, we moved all of her accounts from NY to AZ, so I don't know where this one came from, but she claims it's an investment account. When I asked her how much, she said, "I'm not telling you!"
Some good thoughts would be appreciated.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Posts: 25185 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
Member # 2
| Posted: 12:02 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
(((Sad))) Sounds like alot is going on in your family...good thoughts to you and all involved
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
Posts: 210060 | Registered: May 2002
Member # 31094
| Posted: 12:06 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
I'll keep your family in my prayers..
Posts: 3446 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Member # 17460
| Posted: 12:07 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Argh. What a plateful.
Prayers for your family.
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Posts: 21377 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 16305
| Posted: 12:11 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Time to be my own bff.
Posts: 9311 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: NJ
Member # 34086
| Posted: 12:13 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Damn Sad, sounds like a lot going on. Sending good thoughts your way.
Married: 20 years (14 @JFO)
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
Posts: 5432 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 25001
| Posted: 12:14 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
I feel for you, I really do. My grandmother had alzheimer's. It's hard to see someone going through that. I went over to help her one day, she walked from the kitchen to the living room then back to the kitchen and didn't know who I was.
An assisted living facility would be a good idea for your mom. They have people that can go in and check on her form time to time and it's not quite a nursing home.
Is your brother getting some kind of treatment for his stroke? How old is you brother, if you don't mind my asking.
Sending (((HUGS))) and positive thoughts your way.
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Member # 26928
| Posted: 12:16 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Hugs and positive thought for you and your family.
Me - 45
DD(24), DS(21, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Posts: 9937 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Here and There
Member # 31528
| Posted: 12:18 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
I'm sorry for all you and your family are going through. Sending you strength and good thoughts.
Posts: 49978 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 10552
| Posted: 12:22 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Posts: 15951 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 16024
| Posted: 12:23 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Sending lots of good thoughts your way.
“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of “you’re not alone.” ~ Brene Brown
Posts: 55010 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 14003
| Posted: 12:25 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
I'm so sorry. Sending good thoughts your way.
A wise woman once said "fuck this shit" and she lived happily ever after.
If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
Posts: 16616 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 3031
| Posted: 12:39 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Sad, I'm very sorry to hear that news.
"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."
Posts: 22740 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
Member # 33226
| Posted: 12:43 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
((((Sad)))) Holding you and your family in my thoughts. Hang in there, honey.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Posts: 40111 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 26531
| Posted: 12:49 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
That's a lot to handle. How are you taking it all?
I hold you in my thoughts while you deal with all this.
Me: BSO - 48
Him: FWSO - 71
DS - 15
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
Posts: 25939 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Member # 20150
| Posted: 1:36 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Posts: 20506 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 17840
| Posted: 1:39 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1
Posts: 6680 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: SE US
Member # 31722
| Posted: 2:57 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Sending you strength, Sad.
Posts: 1594 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Member # 26979
| Posted: 3:54 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
I hate to hear that about your brother. Sounds like your sister in law will be real busy with him.
Your mother sounds like she "Sundowns". For some odd reason most dementia affected people tend to start getting worse with their symptoms at evening/night. In my opinion, I think a nursing home would be in her best interested but then again, it does depend on how far gone she is in the disease process.
IF she tends to get easily distracted, cannot hold her concentration for long periods of time, falls a lot, basically just not able to take care of her daily needs, these are things that really have to be looked at. Is she able to meet her basic needs without the assist of someone?
DDay: I can't remember but there were more than one
EXWH passed away 8/31/2011
Posts: 457 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: AL
Member # 36711
| Posted: 4:27 PM, June 4th (Tuesday), 2013|
Wishing you only positive things. I'm sorry you are dealing with so much.
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
|Topic Posts: 30|