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What sucks about not having him...

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TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/4/2013 12:08 PM

That's what I was going to title this thread. But then I remembered I never had him...he never truly cared. If he loved me and wasn't so screwed up he would see me through rough times. Not try to force his ideas of healing on me.

At the library with DD4 and DD1. Knowing I will have to go back to work and miss out on music time. Hearing the other moms talk about being pregnant. Missing my angel baby. I want to cry and be hugged. For a split second I wanted to cry out to him. But I can't. He doesn't care how much I hurt because it annoys him when I'm sad longer than he thinks I should be. I wish my baby years didn't end like this.

Lola2kids posted 6/4/2013 12:45 PM

I remembered I never had him...he never truly cared. If he loved me and wasn't so screwed up he would see me through rough times. Not try to force his ideas of healing on me.

This^^^^^
This is exactly how I feel/felt. It's been 2 years for me since DDay and this is still the hardest thing to swallow.

Just wanted you to know you are heard and it struck a chord with me.

You are not alone.
Hugs.

SkeerdButHopeful posted 6/4/2013 18:51 PM

What sucks about not having him is that I'm having to raise a child alone. I'm so jealous of those couples who are raising their children together, who have support, who can share those beautiful moments watching their children grow up.

TattoodChinaDoll posted 6/4/2013 19:00 PM

I feel horrible that my children won't have a two parent home. Obviously not having one isn't a death sentence. At least for me the help with raising them won't be terribly missed as I do 90% of the raising in the first place. Today it was that moment of, I need to tell him how I feel and damn...I forgot he was an ass for 2 seconds and I'm suffering alone.

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