That's what I was going to title this thread. But then I remembered I never had him...he never truly cared. If he loved me and wasn't so screwed up he would see me through rough times. Not try to force his ideas of healing on me.
At the library with DD4 and DD1. Knowing I will have to go back to work and miss out on music time. Hearing the other moms talk about being pregnant. Missing my angel baby. I want to cry and be hugged. For a split second I wanted to cry out to him. But I can't. He doesn't care how much I hurt because it annoys him when I'm sad longer than he thinks I should be. I wish my baby years didn't end like this.