So the past months have been a living hell. It took weeks and weeks to get the truth, lots of confrontations, tears, and disbelief. Hours of talking, fighting, and talking about the details. Talking and more talking. We're in MC, IC and he is very active in his SAA work and going to meetings regularly.
There are still some issues with the OW, she called me at work last week (thatís another story). He has had NC with OW. He is completely transparent, I have access to everything, and all passwords, including iTunes, so I can see apps that are being downloaded and used.
He's talking and answers all my questions patiently and is learning to expand on his answers. He doesnít' blame me for anything, he's remorseful every day and shows it in his actions. He's responsive when I trigger and does whatever it takes to work through it with me.
He is setting his own boundaries and sticking to them. He's reading and really taking the advice that our MC counselor gives about communication to heart and applying it. I can't think of anything else he could possibly be do.
I can see the difference in his actions towards me. I am now his priority, all of his time and efforts are on himself, me, us or family. The phone is no longer attached to him, neither is his iPad. If Iím feeling insecure during the day he facetimes me.
I am much calmer, the PTSD is subsiding and the anxiety attacks are almost gone. Iím sleeping through the night and eating again. I still have triggers, I still have mind movies, but he works really hard to get me through those moments.
Could I possibly have a real remorseful ďfWHĒ or is it too soon for that? I have thought this in the past and been blind-sided. Having said that, this is the first time that Iíve seen him actually do the work and talk about what heís learning in SAA.
Iím scared to move forward too fast, only to be knocked to ground zero again.
Would love input