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Rainbows posted 6/4/2013 18:22 PM

I've been lurking here for about a few months, since I discovered my WH has been in a relationship with someone else. I discovered it on our anniversary, which was completely devastating. I also found this community where the support and compassion has been invaluable and given me great tools to deal with it.

Our marriage (8 1/2 years) has had ups and downs and I believed that we had a strong love and commitment to be together. Obviously, that was just me because this is our second time at this rodeo. This discovery became an avalanche because I learned that he met her online where he has been meeting women for months. He told her that he was happy she gave him a chance because the other women he tried to meet, didn't. Umm, maybe it's because they weren't idiots and could see right through him?

Since he admitted to it, he's been trying to bully me into a separation (without D). I'm not sure why, exactly. I do contribute financially to our household. He's been doing all kinds of insane and mean things to run me out, things that even shocked my attorney. It's been kind of terrifying not knowing what crazy thing he's going to do next. Thankfully, we have no children, but he's been threatening to take my dogs and cat away.

Anyway, the first time he cheated, I told him he got one chance. So this was it. I called and phone interviewed over two dozen attorneys and decided on a woman who is more interested in me and moving my life forward, than in prolonging the drama and fighting.

Which leads me to today, I met with the attorney and we filed. It felt sort of anti-climactic (we won't be able to serve him for a couple of days because he's out of town for a long, romantic weekend with OW). I didn't have any overwhelming feelings, no great sense of phew, or there you go, or any strong feelings, at all.

Is it normal to feel somewhat apathetic after filing? I do have a sense of fear that the bullying will escalate, but no real feelings about the filing itself. How do people normally feel after making such a big move in their lives?

heartbroken_kk posted 6/4/2013 18:29 PM

I got served today. I feel sorta apathetic. Sometimes it takes a while for feelings to bubble up to the surface. I'm having a beer. Want to join me?

Rainbows posted 6/4/2013 22:03 PM

Yes to a beer!!! Or two.

I think after so many years of being on the bipolar crazy train, with the nuclear outbursts, manipulation, narcissism, addiction, I'm all out of feelings. I just want peace. I want to find my way back and see the sunshine again.

heartbroken_kk posted 6/4/2013 23:58 PM

Halfway through beer number three. Goes good with chocolate!

heartbroken_kk posted 6/4/2013 23:59 PM

Oops double post

[This message edited by heartbroken_kk at 12:00 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)]

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