It never goes away. I feel as if it is running in the background all the time no matter what else I am doing I never completely forget it.
It's been 7 months since dday and 5 months since we have been trying to figure this out.
Is this over the top? Shouldn't I be feeling better even though things between us have not been going well? Is it normal or common to suffer so deeply for so long?
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie
That sounds a bit severe to me. Are you in IC? Perhaps part of you is not comfortable in R?
I think about it often but the bad symptoms have been gone for months. That's just me, of course.
Good luck honey.
I experienced the same physical symtoms for a long time too, even though I separated immediately.
Get to your physician and tell doc what you're going through. He/she can perhaps prescribe you something to ease the physical symptoms.
I'd suggest IC too.
I wanted to suggest something that might help a little - at least, it helps me. It's called "Rescue Remedy," and it's by a company called Bach Flower Remedies. The company is very old, and they base their formulas on scientific research (it's not a superstitious or religious thing, is what I mean). What they have found is that certain herbs have an affect on the body in certain ways. Rescue Remedy was formulated to relieve stress, anxiety, and inflammation in the body. It has a relaxing, or soothing, impact. The herbs are put in a tincture, it's a liquid and you drop a few drops on your tongue. You can also use it topically on your body - I've used it on insect bites before to bring down swelling and redness, it works quickly.
I hope this suggestion helps you - for me, Rescue Remedy helps both mental and physical tension, and it helps calm my tummy symptoms a bit if my stomach is upset.
I think it might be a good idea for you to seek counseling to give you some tools to cope with your anxiety symptoms, but in the meantime I hope this helps too. You can get it at most grocery stores where I live, but it's also available at www.bachflower.com
Also, remember to be kind to yourself, try to find ways to reduce your stress. Extreme stress for a long time can have a serious effect on your health. For some people it's a bubble bath and a book, for others it might be a round of golf, but whatever your happy place is, remember to give yourself those moments to unwind. It's important not to neglect your health.
Since being under extreme stress for months on end can affect the balance of hormones in your body, it might be a good idea to go see your Dr and get a check-up, describe what's happening so your Dr can make sure all is well. At this point some of your symptoms may be purely physical, hormonal issues that would only take a little addressing to resolve.
Hoping things improve for you!!
Time alone does not necessarily make things better. And sometimes it takes both IC and some meds to get moving in a better direction. There is no shame in doing what is needed to take care of yourself.
edited for typos (I always have to!)
I am thinking that there is so much to deal with.
The years of emotional and verbal abuse prior to the a. The abuse that I forgave over and over. I understood his internal pain, should not have had empathy for him at my expense. That I understand now, it seems so obvious now. I think it has to do with my foo, alcoholic father, physical abuse, thinking you had to be perfect to be loved, accepting so little, no sense of self worth.
Then the abandonment on dday, with no remorse, just a very thick cold wall.
The life he was living with her while I was suffering and he didn't care. Told me I just needed to get over it. (still says that from time to time)
The crazy stupid things that happened that just made me feel so vulnerable, getting lost in a blizzard at night, the hurricane a few days after he left and trying to cope with no power, no phone, being scared. Being grabbed by a man a night in a parking lot, trying to fight him off as I watched my h drive by and not even notice,(I got away, ok but terrified). Having ow text me, cruelly. His horrific words to me while he was gone.
Now his support and remorse are so slow in coming, blameshifting, minimizing, criticizing me for not progressing. (just glimpses of understanding this week).
I think this is why I am still struggling. I am in IC. I do have meds and methods for calming. Nothing takes away this pain. I suppose facing your weaknesses and mistakes brings pain. Growth is pain.
Surprisingly, I am better than I was, it just hurts like hell. I keep thinking I don't want to know how this feels. I want my innocence back, but I know this is probably a good thing for me. It has made me face how little I was receiving in life and how I need to put myself first. If I don't no one else will. I am trying to learn what makes me happy.
The heart palpitations and stomach issues are two symptoms of hyperthyroidism.
Please get checked.
Hang in there.