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Too Much contact

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Heal&Deal posted 6/4/2013 21:58 PM

So.... XH has been remarkably non present in DS's life over the past 6 months. He has had a series of life altering events (karma bus?), which have impacted his availability some, but still he has proven that DS is at the back of his priority list. Grand total of 2 overnights in 6 months, from the guy who insisted on 6 each month.

So this evening, he texts and asks if he can drop off some gifts from his recent vacation to DS. I said that I was sorry but we were at the library and thus unavailable. He showed up at the library to play happy f'ing family/super dad.

I was trapped. What was I to do? Ugh! Obviously I should not have said where we were, but who would have guessed, Invisible Dad himself would actually materialize?

FaithFool posted 6/5/2013 08:02 AM

Wow, isn't that special?

Guess you really have to keep it to "busy right now, can't talk".

movingforward13 posted 6/5/2013 08:15 AM

I love it when these people prove who they are. They claim to want to be super dad and very involved and then they show they aren't cut out for actually putting in the time and attention parenting needs.

I am sorry he is an ass. He must be feeling really guilty to just show up. Ignore, ignore, ignore and detach. Then you won't give a fuck about his bull shit.

Ashland13 posted 6/5/2013 08:16 AM

STBXH has showed up at my workplace with DD recently, more than once.

So yes, I go to great length not to tell them where I'm going. I'm an open-book person, so learning to be covert is yet another core value that he is forcing against what I believe.

What's also hard is the things he's done have some aura of being "unsafe", so when people don't have actual experience in it, they immediately think he could be physically unsafe. I don't think so, I think he's too cowardly.

Yes, it's really, really hard because we a trusting Bs's are easier to catch off guard. I'm learning, though, this and many other life lessons that I never would have thought I would need to know.

I'm sorry he followed you to the library and disturbed your time with DD and what you were trying to accomplish.

I've been bullied by STBXH about "interfering" and "meddling" when he is angry, yet he is free to spend hours of their visits texting me and taking up my time!

I think figuring out how to not tell him your locations are a good idea.

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