I am sorry, he needs to find an IC that will be supportive of your attempt to R, not minimize the damage your husband has caused by first having a false R!
You are completely within reason IMO. It's great you stood up for what you wanted. Wonderful he had you drop/pick up and also that he was ok with only staying a few hours.
I would tell that IC to go shit in a hat and find a new one!
He is being a major jerk not caring about your feelings.
My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.
There are many IC's that are not capable of handling infidelity, I think that's where the problem began.
Either IC is a cracked nut or your husband exaggerated something somewhere to the IC or to you.
If he didn't want to play this game, then he shouldn't have lost your trust. He's lucky that you even offer to play the game with him to reconcile. That's a lot of work for you to keep track of 2 little ones and one big one.
I'd want to know how he framed this to the IC and if that's actually what the IC said, or if that's something your WH "interpreted" for his own purposes.
Either way, the idea that "it can't always be this way" is complete and utter bullshit. Yes it can always be this way and I would argue that it should always be that way.
What's so horrific and limiting about leaving a gathering an hour early? He should WANT to be home and help with the kids. They are his kids and this part of their lives goes by so quickly. He will never get that time back. I doubt that this BBQ will even be remembered by him when he is old and nearing the end of his life. It won't have been a significant time. I think his priorities still need some adjusting and I am not sure that at 9 weeks post false R...I'd be so quick to believe that his reports about IC are 100% accurate.
A couple putting one another ahead of bbq's and friends....who are being respectful and helping one another in carrying out their shared responsibilities should be the norm...not the exception.
I don't see this as going overboard on your part in the least.
[This message edited by refuz2bavictim at 5:50 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)]