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Newest Member: Thefighter (60790)

User Topic: OP end it after finding the WS lied-despite being willing AP?
♀ 24786
Member # 24786
What?  Posted: 8:34 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wondered how many people's spouses A's ended after the OP found out she/he was being lied to by the WS?

In my situation the OW pursued FWH furiously for months before their A started despite knowing he was M to me!! After their A began we then go into the usual A bull ... He'd create an argument and leave for a night etc... After a year of this I called him after he walked out and wouldn't let him return until he'd sorted his shit out!! This was all pre knowing about any A....

Fast forward to DDay and FWH asked me to R but in reality just took their A underground. Only months later did a confrontation between me and OW occur. This was when I found out that OW truly believed he'd left me for her and, despite him refusing to move in with her, believed he'd met his soul mate and vice versa! Great to find out I'd been in false R for almost a year

When I filled her in with the truth she was soooooooooo hurt that he'd lie.... TO HER.... That she dumped him on the spot!!

Poor widdle cumdumpster he lied to you? Surely not!!

I just wondered if this was reality for anyone else.

And I hate to admit it but I still get upset that this was how their A ended and how he treated me post DDay.

I guess I'll post about that another day as I'm back in a flat plain at the moment. *sigh- this is a looong rollercoaster ride *

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 8:36 AM, June 5th (Wednesday)]

BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now becomeć

Posts: 1622 | Registered: Jul 2009
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:43 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure if it's the same thing but my STBXWW had a 3 yr LTA with a married coworker. She admitted it to me only after a confrontation with married OM's BW led to the police getting called. She was in the fog for awhile but the funny thing was she really never got pissed at OM that I saw until she realized he was sleeping with other woman at the job. Yep, she thought he was being "faithful" to her and got pissed that he wasn't. The jacked up wayward logic is astounding at times. She even got his initials tattoed on her and ended up having to get them covered up.

I used to be mad about this stuff but detachment is awesome. For me it wasn't so much about how she treated me after Dday and more of how I allowed myself to be treated once I was in the know. But hey I was in my own BS FOG and in a few weeks she will no longer be my problem.

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 2199 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
♀ 29288
Member # 29288
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yes, totally true. My FWH told OW all of these terrible things about me, including that we no longer slept together (classic WS lie). When OW showed up on my doorstep to tell me about their A (my FWH had broken it off with her and she did not like that), she took one look at my reaction and knew that FWH had been lying to her.

She specifically asked about us sleeping together. I looked at her and laughed, then said "What do you think the answer to that question is?" She then launched into a tirade about how I should get tested, as she had some female issues recently (great, good to know) and how FWH had lied to both of us (ya think?).

It took me a while to realize that the reason OW became so flustered when talking with me was that I was not at all as my FWH had portrayed me to her. Not that she really cared, except that it messed up her perception of my FWH and made her realize that he was a liar and a cheat--to her! I guess as long as he was lying and cheating to/on me, it was a-ok. She even e-mailed him later, all put out at him for lying to her.

In retrospect, you just have to laugh about it. It is so absurd.

Me--BW (57)
Him--FWH (54)--5yr. LTA--OW probably BPD
Married 21 years
DS-19, DD-16
Reconciling--but boy is it hard!

Posts: 1655 | Registered: Aug 2010
♂ 31089
Member # 31089
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, June 5th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Similar but the complete opposite. Prior to me knowing about one of the OM, he apparently got all he wanted from fww and she referred to him as a back-stabber. Really? The fact that he was screwing a married woman behind her husbands back didn't lead her to that conclusion, but when he didn't want cheap sex anymore he suddenly became a back-stabber?

....and this, well its just too funny not to quote:

Poor widdle cumdumpster

Posts: 1276 | Registered: Feb 2011
Topic Posts: 4

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