quite the post...as these very same thoughts have been weighing heavily on my mind lately.
I too, feel as tho i fell out of love with my WH....but i think that started during the affair due to his behavior and the person that he was leading up to the affair....finding out about the affair and the betrayal just cinched it for me.
I think this...
He is doing everything he can to repair the marriage
if he's going to counseling, reading books, listening to your pain, comforting you when you hurt, apologizing honestly often, being open and honest and hiding nothing else
are profoundly important to rebuilding the love. Is there open, honest communication? Is WH being transparent and truthful? Is he seeing your needs, understanding your pain and the total ramifications of his actions? Does he "get it?" I dont want the marriage i had before. I dont want the husband i had before. I didnt love the person he was back then.
I think a milestone for me and my healing process was actually admitting that to myself AND telling my husband. It was very painful to look him in the eyes and tell him that i wasn't in love with him anymore. It has been 5 months...and i havent been able to say the words...i havent been able to tell him "i Love You."
However, in these 5 months, i have seen the work my WH has been doing. I see him working so hard to be a better person for himself...a better husband for me and a better father for our children. OTHER PEOPLE have noticed changes in him and commented to me.
So you ask, is it possible to fall back in love again?? I have to believe that you can. In time. Its all in time.
I think the statement below is right on the money. Dont look for the old love you had and try to get that back........build a new love, build on a new foundation together.
But you can define a new love that is meaningful and fulfilling if you both work towards it
hugs to you.