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We are 13 months into R and I have been finding myself really struggling for the last few weeks.

I have restarted have random mind movies, can't control my emotions and am feeling so much more rage then usual. I desperately want the AP to hurt like I'm hurting, then I tell myself this is between me and WH and has nothing to do with her. I can't keep my thoughts straight. One minute I want to vomit and the next I want to be with him.

Please tell me this is normal. I feel like the roller coaster has sped up and I feel so out of control. Am I going crazy?

Am I going crazy?

Nope I'm going through it again, except I start hysterically crying right after the rage.

I think this is year 2 and while year 1 I would categorize as the worst, year 2 so far has not been much better.

I am feeling so overwhelmed by the long list of how my WH betrayed me. I hurt and am currently in deep pain so I tend to want to lash out.

I hate this rollercoaster I really do.

Just this morning I told WH that I want to die, that I don't want to live the rest of my life with this pain.

(((Zayda1))) I hope this passes for all of us.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 1:04 PM, June 5th (Wednesday)]