I think starting point for me to even think I was good enough was when I felt I could make a good choice and felt that my boundaries were strong.
This makes sense to me and I definitely need work here too. I have a book on boundaries but haven't started it because I am reading several other books right now. I think I need to slow down and focus on one at a time.
The helper/fixer, could that be how you express love?
Yes, I think so but I think it's more than that. I have been known to go way overboard to help a stranger or bare acquaintance who I don't love and who I don't need any validation or love from. I don't really understand myself on this.
you will need to recognize that and be choosy as to who will receive that.
I have started being more cautious here but I don't think I want to completely squash this. Kindness and helping others is a part of me I like.
Who first told you you were not good enough?
I don't know. The furthest back I remember is my first grade teacher who was a nightmare. I suspect it was my mother although I don't believe she was ever intentionally hurtful. She's always been pretty critical. Last week I went to my son's ball game without makeup and my mom said in front of everyone, "what happened to your face, you looked so nice yesterday?" I've always thought this was normal but lately I'm beginning to wonder....
The mantra! I LOVED that scene! It touched me deeply when I saw the movie. That movie reminded me too much of my childhood although we never had any "help".
ETA! I hope saying that can't be construed as racist given the movie. I was raised not to treat anyone differently because of race but I witnessed a lot of that during my childhood.
[This message edited by knightsbff at 5:19 PM, June 5th (Wednesday)]
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs
I edit often because I make a lot of typos. ☺️