SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

beforeandafter posted 6/5/2013 15:57 PM

I thought we were doing well. My WW found faith and we were closer than ever. Our pastor recommended we let go of the past, and as he is a licensed psychologist I went about the process of rug sweeping. Please let me be a warning and a reminder for all, that she went right back to it as soon as my guard was down. We are separating, and moving quickly to divorce. I wish that I had listened to the wisdom of these boards more intently, that I might not be here now. Hindsight I guess is 20/20. For those that worry about a second time, it does not sting as much. It still hurts, but the pain just doesn't debilitate like it did before. Say a prayer for my family, if you would. I know we all get through this, I just wish I was at the end.

simplydevastated posted 6/5/2013 16:00 PM

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you and your family (((Hugs))) strength and prayers.

brokenblackbird posted 6/5/2013 16:07 PM

((hugs)) and strength for you.

We all think our situation is "different", that our love is "stronger", that our marriage is somehow going to make it where others didn't. I understand how easy it is to rugsweep...

sinsof thefather posted 6/5/2013 16:17 PM

I'm so sorry you are here and that she betrayed you again. Sending you and your family prayers.

(((beforeandafter)))

1Faith posted 6/5/2013 16:55 PM

So so sorry. Of course we will say prayers.

Stay strong and know that you will come out the otherside.

Hugs

tabitha95 posted 6/5/2013 16:56 PM

Sorry B&A!!!

For those that worry about a second time, it does not sting as much. It still hurts, but the pain just doesn't debilitate like it did before

I agree. It was actually freeing for me because I knew something was "off" and when I had d-day #2 discovery a few years later, I knew I wasn't the one with the problem.

It also made it really easy to walk away. He knew another A was a deal-breaker. I knew I had done everything I could and wasn't walking away without at least trying.

Come join us in Divorce & Separation...and when you are ready New Beginnings (it's not just about dating, it's about starting your single life, on your own).

Broken1Again posted 6/5/2013 22:32 PM

On the one hand, sorry she can't get her sh!t together, but on the other hand and this is definitely not flippant by any means, congratulations. She has done you a huge favour by not prolonging this BS for years and years to come and wasting more of your time and life on someone who just isn't worth it!

5454real posted 6/5/2013 23:14 PM

Prayers and strength for the journey.

as he is a licensed psychologist

I am truly sorry you ran into him.

beforeandafter posted 6/6/2013 03:56 AM

You know it all had to have been for a reason. It is so liberating being in the house by myself. Strange, but liberating. I slept better last night than I have in the past month or so when I realized she was up to her old tricks. It was completely out of my control, so now I just roll with it. For now I get to enjoy the little things, and be grateful that I am young enough to move on and hopefully eventually start a family with a woman who deserves me. Knowing that its not the end of the world might seem like a no-brainer, but I'm not sure I was in the same place the last betrayal.

tushnurse posted 6/6/2013 10:52 AM

((B&A)))
Sorry to hear that she didn't have it in her.

You seem to have your head in a good place, and that will help you.

Once things settle down, I think you need to send your Pastor a long letter about how rugsweeping fixes nothing, and that he is doing his congregants a great diservice reccommending that. Unfortunately being a Licensed Psych does not make you competent to help others. Shame on him.

((((and strength))))

Beemer posted 6/6/2013 10:57 AM

I'm so sorry... you and your family will be in my prayers