SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

dreamlife posted 6/5/2013 20:29 PM

I got another Settlement offer...but if STBX has kept me in the dark financially ALL THESE YEARS...how the heck can I make an informed decision?!

Anyone else go through this?

I am confused!

I want him to do the Discovery!!

Help!

FlySomeday posted 6/5/2013 20:46 PM

Simply tell your attorney (I do hope you have one) to file for discovery/interrogatories and documents. Must file in the court system because then if they don't produce it, you can ask a judge (with a show cause motion) to force him to produce it.

Do not feel like you have to address ANYTHING in the PSA before you get your discovery.

dreamlife posted 6/5/2013 20:48 PM

I emailed my attorney 3 days ago but have yet to hear back.

This thing is pissing me off!

The worst thing STBX could do is divulge his "financial secrets".

Am I being unreasonable in wanting him to do this?

He opened up a can of worms by doing a Scorched Earth D on me and now he is again manipulating!

Freaking NPD!

torn2bits posted 6/5/2013 20:50 PM

My STBX did not want to do discovery either. My L said "Motion to Compel" in front of the judge and gave him 2 weeks to produce or be in contempt.

Don't settle anything without current discovery. Also, my L sent a subpeona because he was making major overtime, but it wasn't showing in CS.

Have your L handle it.

[This message edited by torn2bits at 8:51 PM, June 5th (Wednesday)]

dreamlife posted 6/5/2013 20:53 PM

Thanks, Fly.

Yes, my atty sent him the Discovery Q going back 5 years and gave him 30 days to respond.

Seems he (and his lawyer) feel sending a slightly better "offer" my way will keep me satiated ~ NOT!

I can't believe the nerve of Mr. MBA!

dreamlife posted 6/5/2013 20:57 PM

Thanks, Torn.

He sent my atty his current copy of taxes but she found a LOT of docs missing, no form 1099s, etc.

He is dragging things out and the Judge wants it settled by the end of July or it will go to Trial.

Catwoman posted 6/5/2013 21:20 PM

Motion to Compel. Now.

Cat

dreamlife posted 6/5/2013 21:23 PM

Ohhh, Cat ~ *Thank you*!!

lost2atranny posted 6/5/2013 23:02 PM

I hope this isn't too late. Don't settle. I wanted to settle and my attorney convinced me not to. Guess what? During discovery, I found out he had at least 9 bank accounts I did not know of, hid bonuses from me, cheated on me more than I ever imagined and spend A LOT of money partying it up. Good luck. I'm sorry we're dealing with this... and we can only hope and pray it makes us stronger! =)

dreamlife posted 6/6/2013 03:50 AM

Thank you, lost.
This is amazing! And so very sad, too.
Every little bit of input helps me here....especially what you just posted! Thanks so much again but its just that I also cannot afford going to trial and the Creep knows this.

Catwoman posted 6/6/2013 04:33 AM

Look, most cases do NOT go to trial. You need to have your attorney file a Motion to Compel and make sure he files one that has a nice daily fine attached to non-compliance.

NO judge is going to see it as unreasonable if you take the position that you cannot make a decision on a settlement without having a complete financial picture.

You may want to also serve subpoenas duces tecum on his employer for his employee records. If he has applied for a mortgage or a loan recently, file a subpoena for those documents.

Cat

homewrecked2011 posted 6/6/2013 04:54 AM

Also, the employer had to provide a written response to the total gross earning of my XH including bonuses.

This was important because HIS atty was saying the W2 from that year was enough. Nope, because the W2 only shows income AFTER the pretax stuff is taken out.

So, bc of 401K contrib, health ins premiums, etc, he made 10,000 more than the W2 showed, thus getting me more child support.

gma56 posted 6/6/2013 13:02 PM

If your STBX is like FT, he just may give you a settlement offer you can't refuse. I filed the motion to compel because of his failure to disclose financials/discovery and got a great offer because he was going to have to show supporting Twat while married. CA courts frown on that one because I was on foodstamps and other circumstances involving me.
We also were working off a very bad post nup and that would have been thrown out. With Susi's help, I showed cause to throw out all of the post nup.

File your motion and watch him squirm if he's hiding ANYTHING. Ya know he is.
Time to put on the bitch boots we keep talking about and he's not going to like them, guaranteed but oh well !
Gma

dreamlife posted 6/6/2013 13:13 PM

All terrific advice here.

My atty emailed me this morning and said she has received a Discovery CD. ("CD"? Is this how it comes now or am I more tech challenged than ever? )
Well, maybe the CD just means STBX has a lot of "stuff" (you know~ interspersed w/ lies and his typical distractions/nonsense as he has nothing but utter contempt for attorneys and court.... )

My lawyer said we do have time to pore over it along with my collected various "notes and errata" over the years so this makes me feel a whole lot better NOW.

gma56 posted 6/6/2013 13:16 PM

Pick every detail apart !
You know there will be many "mistakes".
If you need help/opinions there is a few here that are very good at just that.
Gma

hopingforhappy posted 6/6/2013 13:22 PM

If necessary: forensic accountant.

dreamlife posted 6/7/2013 14:15 PM

Cannot afford a forensic accountant or tech as they cost 10K (retainer) in my state and there r no guarantees.

Yes, I will pick everything apart.....this heat is driving me crazy as I also suffer from summer SAD & ***I KNOW HE WILL LIE*** just as he always has.