SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

cdnmommy posted 6/6/2013 01:00 AM

The background is this: I have traveled a little over the course of my career. Usually short trips Sunday/Monday to Friday. Often I have done day trips or single overnights. For the past year I have been on the road quite a bit. Logistically it works well because FWH works from home so getting DS to and from school and daycare is easy for him. This last week represented the first time since during the A that I was actually scheduled to be away over a weekend. I was triggering a bit because last time I had to be away this long he was glad to be rid of me.

I left last Tuesday the 28th, and was scheduled to come back a week later. At one point, we had discussed him and DS coming on one of my trips, but this was the only one that was extending over the weekend, and since it was our big go-live I knew I would be working 12 hour plus days the whole time. I figured there was no point.

Well, on Saturday morning FWH got DS up at 4:30 AM to get on a plane, and they surprised me by showing up at the office where I was working. I got a text saying there was a delivery for me, and there was my family. He said they missed me and knew I was working hard, so rather than being far away they thought they could come and be supportive. They made cookies and brought them for our whole team, and for the next day and a half, I was able to sneak away and see them, since they stayed hanging around the office. It was insanely long hours, but it went so well that I was able to take the Monday off and do some sightseeing with them. We all flew home together on Tuesday.

I was touched by it all. I felt badly that they were sitting in the office while I worked (the weather was crummy and we were not close to anything to do indoors) but he said they knew I would be busy, but just wanted to be there to cheer me up when I needed it. Best of all, when the people I worked with started making comments about how everyone should have a husband like him, it didn't kill me the way it used to. FWH would just look at me when someone said this and would reply something like "I wish that was always true."

I think what I liked the most is that he did this solely to make me feel good. He was a little embarassed about the attention he got for showing up, which is a far cry from the attention-seeking that he used to do. I'll admit that it crossed my mind that he was motivated by that, but seeing him try to avoid the comments showed me otherwise.

I just wanted to share something really positive that has happened. We are getting pretty close to that mythical "as long in R as the A lasted" and so far, year 3 of R has been a huge improvement over year 2....

OnAnIsland posted 6/6/2013 01:07 AM

You have me crying this morning! That is beautiful and shows the real progress that you and your H have made in R. Keep on working, but enjoy this.

Austin posted 6/6/2013 01:27 AM

How refreshing! I have been stuck on reading some of the other forums where there is so much hurt and anger, understandably but none the less exhausting.

It is comforting that there are some positive Rs out there.

Thank you for sharing.

hellonearth posted 6/6/2013 03:24 AM

So happy for you, thank for the positive story!!

TrustGone posted 6/6/2013 03:38 AM

I am always so happy to read of WS's that really do eventually "get it" and that work so hard to undo the damage they caused to their BS, marriage, and family. It gives us other BS's something to hope for.
I wish you all the luck in the world on continued R.
(((HUGS)))

catlover50 posted 6/6/2013 04:45 AM

This is great! Good for both of you!

bizzygirl posted 6/6/2013 08:00 AM

Congrats!!

Your positive story gives all of us in R hope..

musiclovingmom posted 6/6/2013 08:19 AM

How wonderful! This is an amazing story.

confused615 posted 6/6/2013 08:28 AM

Im so happy for you..he *gets it* !!

What a sweet thing to do,to bring your DS and surprise you like that...just so he was there if/when you needed him.

Thanks for giving me hope.

Beemer posted 6/6/2013 09:15 AM

How wonderful!

Side note: I really needed to hear a positive story this morning... thank you :)

jojo42 posted 6/6/2013 09:45 AM

Thank you for sharing this- and the song in your signature is my anthem right now

Josephine01 posted 6/6/2013 09:58 AM

I happy for you. Great story!!

tushnurse posted 6/6/2013 10:57 AM

Yipee!!!! You my dear are going to make it.

It is so refreshing when you know they really really really get it. I felt like doing cartwheels when we had that moment.

Thank you for sharing!!!

anv5 posted 6/6/2013 10:59 AM

That is great! And I agree....I needed this today, it is good to have the encoragment. Thank you for sharing!

Rebreather posted 6/6/2013 13:06 PM

That is indeed a postive story. How wonderful of him!

Jrazz posted 6/6/2013 13:30 PM

I love it! How wonderful.

cdnmommy posted 6/6/2013 14:47 PM

Thanks, everyone.:)

One more thing. He said to me, "thank you for letting us come." I laughed and said, "you surprised me. I didn't let you do anything."

He said, "well, we showed up, and you were grateful we came. You didn't say 'I am too busy. I wish you hadn't.' You seemed proud we were there. And you let is hang out and support you."

Good stuff all around.