"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
Yesterday I played hookey from work. I never do that but decided I was taking the day to do what I love, painting.
I took the time the day before to get ready, new paints, brushes, canvas, dug my easel out of the basement.
7am outside, beautiful day, feeling so good, I am reclaiming a part of me. Painting away, feeling inspired, then I looked at something on my easel, it's always been there and it never entered my mind before. I haven't painted since before dday.
The logo on my easel is ow's name! I had a manor melt down. This is mine! I carved it out of the wood with a knife. It is so hard when things get you when you are not expecting it. It made me so angry so sad. Sapped all my creativity.
I will not let this stop me, shopping for a new easel.
It just floored me as to how sensitive I have become to every tiny reminder. It was just a little too ironic, I have used this easel for 10 plus years and that one detail never imprinted on my mind. I knew it was there, had seen it but now such a small little word can crush me.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
I attempted R, he was a lie