Well, it has been a long journey, but yesterday was basically just a day
Things with my husband and I are overall good. We have had to deal with no infidelity related stress in well over 6 months. By that I mean no triggers, no feelings of inadequacy, no depression from the A.. None of it. Healing has got to be at 98% most days.
Yesterday, I did a ton of reflection about OW/xBFF. For the first few years, hatred consumed me. Today, it is almost complete indifference. I do not get bursts of rage or even focus on her. If she does cross my mind, I am able to easily dismiss her.
One major help in this was that I realized harboring hatred in my heart for her does nothing to her, it only hurts me. I don't know if I am at forgiveness or not, but I realize I am the only one who loses by holding onto the anger, hatred, disdain for her, so I don't do it. She is whoever she is now and it doesn't really matter to me. My husband completely let her go on dday 3 years ago, so she is a non issue in my life today.