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Are the men of online dating really that bad?

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OnceInALifetime posted 6/6/2013 15:59 PM

Or is it that the exceptionally bad ones generate the majority of the scuttlebutt here on SI?

Newlease posted 6/6/2013 16:41 PM

Maybe it's just that misery loves company, so everyone shares the horror stories. I'm sure there are good people in OLD - heck look at the people here that are involved in it. But I never had the intestinal fortitude to venture into that realm.

You just have to be prepared for . . . . anything!

NL

Amazonia posted 6/6/2013 17:25 PM

The good ones tend to disappear pretty quickly too. They get snatched up.

aLadypilot posted 6/6/2013 17:26 PM

I think we tend to hear more about the horror stories!

I had a very short lived time on Match. I met my fiance. And I went out with a few very nice men. One remains a friend, and the others while not a match, were just nice, interesting people.

I had a great experience with online dating.

MyVoice posted 6/6/2013 17:29 PM

No they're not I went on about 15 first meet ups and only two of them were a little shall we say quirky the rest seemed completely normal nice men.

Five of these guys I went out on more than one date with and never had anyone be anything but happy,respectful and nice.

Even the quirky ones were nice

I'm currently with a gorgeous man from RSVP meet him four months ago and we've been exclusive for the last three

InTheRabbitHole posted 6/6/2013 17:46 PM

Was it my post that prompted this?

I've met a couple of normal guys, they just weren't for me. One guy and are actually good friends. Just no chemistry that way.

My best friend has met a great guy on OLD. I'm willing to keep at it.

Sad in AZ posted 6/6/2013 17:54 PM

I have 3 words for you: Cheesey Nut Man...

InTheRabbitHole posted 6/6/2013 18:01 PM

Cheezy nut man is one of my favourite stories!

OnceInALifetime posted 6/6/2013 18:01 PM

The good ones tend to disappear pretty quickly

Ouch! No worries, I'm pretty well over myself

This question wasn't precipitated by any one post. It's just that over all these years I've built up the sense from here that most OLD men are loonies or depraved.

Good to know that's not the case. And it diffuses Ama's comment

Amazonia posted 6/6/2013 18:11 PM

Hey, admit it OIAL, if any of us went on a date where the guy left his teeth in his chicken, we'd be telling that story.

OnceInALifetime posted 6/6/2013 18:14 PM

Yup, Cheesy Nut Man and Crunchy Chicken Man. Brothers in arms.

[This message edited by OnceInALifetime at 6:14 PM, June 6th (Thursday)]

clralb posted 6/6/2013 18:23 PM

I met some really nice guys OLD.

Problem was, I wasn't nowhere near ready to date, so I was the one they probably had scary stories to tell their friends about.

I'm better now but still want to give it some time before I give it another try.

cayc posted 6/6/2013 18:36 PM

I'm over the moon about the man I'm seeing & I met him via OLD. And fwiw I messaged him first.

Catwoman posted 6/6/2013 19:04 PM

Once, I am with my fella going on three years now this July and I met him online. He is the bomb.

I think we enjoy some of the more outrageous stories, certainly. And I think in some ways OLD and its ease, anonymity and ability to, shall we say, um, be "greater" online than we really are contributes to some of the chaff that really needs to be blown away.

But overall? I have met some nice people. I think the more selective you are and the more true to yourself you are able to be, the more positive the experience.

Just my opinion.

Cat

ladies_first posted 6/6/2013 19:15 PM

Or is it that the exceptionally bad ones generate the majority of the scuttlebutt here on SI?

When I find a good one, I tend to let a few less important balls drop (including SI) and give it time to see if the attraction is mutual.

And it's true, misery loves company.

little turtle posted 6/6/2013 19:20 PM

I never got to meet any of the really bad guys from online dating. All of the guys I met were pretty normal, just not a good match for each other. Until the last guy. We are awesome for each other.

I do enjoy reading the crazy stories though.

Snapdragon posted 6/6/2013 21:38 PM

My first experiences with OLD were very good for the most part (Phase I - age 35). I was in a good place ego-wise. I had a lot of fun and met quite a few really great guys. At that time I was NOT interested in long term and that was what I sought.

A number of years later I had a different mindset (Phase 2 - age 40). I was looking for someone serious. That is when I ran into a less desirable experience. The men that said they wanted the same actually did not. They seemed enthralled by the OLD experience that there was always a better one out there to be had. Sadly, I kept seeing them year after year still looking and hoping for the Playboy Playmate they knew they deserved. Meanwhile, I just became disillusioned by men my age that only wanted Bambi the Wunderslut to service them and be their arm candy. So few men my age actually wanted to date women of their own age. They wanted 25-35 max. I'm not into the young guys seeking older women.

These days... I consider it Phase 3 of my single life... I just don't give a shit anymore. Occasionally I still peek at the possibilities on Match but never see anything interesting enough to shell out any $. I do get amused at the obvious "plants" my Match. It is funny to see that they are still practicing that in order to get people to pony up their hard earned cash.

But back to the beginning..... No, OLD guys aren't all that bad.

hurtinky posted 6/7/2013 00:23 AM

I think that the majority of the over 55 men have more than a few issues. I don't know how many first meetings I went on, in a year, but it was a lot. And I don't remember being impressed by any of them. The majority of them were hot messes. But they had nice profiles and talked a good line.

gma56 posted 6/7/2013 00:25 AM

My DD met her H on match.com. They've been together for 6 yrs and married for 3.It's his 2nd and her 1st. She met a lot of men while she was doing the OLD.Some were freaky like we hear about on SI but most were OK just not a match for her.
I will give her credit, she wrote a great profile and was honest up front about who she is as a person and she knew what she could accept and what she couldn't.

There is really good people out there and like life you have to wade thru the idiots to see the good ones, they aren't always the ones you notice first.

Gma

Nature_Girl posted 6/7/2013 01:22 AM

I'll never be able to find out about the men on OLD being good or bad. My husband has been doing OLD for years & years. I can't risk bumping into him online.

I'm good with that, though. I'll just stick with old-fashioned methods.

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