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inlove67 (original poster new member #39064) posted at 12:58 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
I posted in here that I was moving on and I was sure of it. The last time he tried talking to me was Monday. He gave me back the money he owed me and I kept going. (This was at work because we work together) I am having the hardest time with seeing him! I can't stand to see him and pretend we are strangers. I am still very in love with this man though he has hurt me so many times in so many ways aside from the cheating...I cannot seem to stop crying. I don't know what to do I feel like the pain will never stop and it's always on my mind.
I miss him and I don't want to....
hardtimesinlife ( member #10468) posted at 1:02 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
Time will help. Try to do one new thing each day and get your mind away from missing him. Even if it is a little thing. Switch your focus. It helps.
Hugs.
Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)
ladies_first ( member #24643) posted at 1:30 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
With distance comes new perspective.
Pair bonds/attachment takes time to build ... and time to uncouple.
Be kind to yourself. Google self-soothing techniques, then try a few new ones. Change requires us to step outside of our comfort zone.
If you're a reader, "Journey from Abandonment to Healing" is a good book.
"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway
why2008 ( member #18378) posted at 3:57 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
((((inlove67))))
I am sorry this has been a rough week for you. It takes a while for the pain to stop and you are doing really well considering all you have gone through..
Me - BS - 46
Him - WS - 44
Two daughters / 10 and 7
IAmPsycho ( member #39337) posted at 5:19 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
I have noticed during past break ups that limiting contact helps with healing. It seems like every time you see them, the scab is ripped off again. I'm so sorry you are dealing with heartbreak. It's a horrible thing to go through.
BS (me) 43
WS (him) 48
Married 25 years
Reconciling for 12 years
DDAY 01-16-01
A with my best friend
Lots of children from 24-4 weeks old
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:13 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
It may help to keep repeating to yourself this truth:
I deserve to be treated well.
[This message edited by sisoon at 11:13 AM, June 7th (Friday)]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Pippy ( member #16482) posted at 6:02 PM on Friday, June 7th, 2013
Is moving to a new job possible for you? You will find detaching so much easier if you don't have to see him.
I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
inlove67 (original poster new member #39064) posted at 4:06 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2013
Pippy: At my company the department I am in is only at 1 location, I would have to switch jobs...which I am looking into. I hate this!
stillhere09 ( member #24924) posted at 5:49 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2013
It would be the best thing for you to switch jobs. I hope you find one soon.
Also, it helps immensely to no longer allow yourself to look back but look forward instead. Make plans for your future, both your immediate future and your distant future. Focus on that every time you feel anything that resembles missing him. It will get better.
Me-50 BW
Him-55,STBXWH
Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:54 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2013
Focus on that every time you feel anything that resembles missing him.
Focus is really the key. Right now, you are focusing on the loss. And that's natural. Healing begins when you can lift your focus from the loss and from the past, and shift it to yourself and the future.
((((inlove67))))
[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 11:54 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
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