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Here's where it gets tricky.

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inlove67 posted 6/6/2013 18:58 PM

I posted in here that I was moving on and I was sure of it. The last time he tried talking to me was Monday. He gave me back the money he owed me and I kept going. (This was at work because we work together) I am having the hardest time with seeing him! I can't stand to see him and pretend we are strangers. I am still very in love with this man though he has hurt me so many times in so many ways aside from the cheating...I cannot seem to stop crying. I don't know what to do I feel like the pain will never stop and it's always on my mind.

I miss him and I don't want to....

hardtimesinlife posted 6/6/2013 19:02 PM

Time will help. Try to do one new thing each day and get your mind away from missing him. Even if it is a little thing. Switch your focus. It helps.

ladies_first posted 6/6/2013 19:30 PM

With distance comes new perspective.

Pair bonds/attachment takes time to build ... and time to uncouple.

Be kind to yourself. Google self-soothing techniques, then try a few new ones. Change requires us to step outside of our comfort zone.

If you're a reader, "Journey from Abandonment to Healing" is a good book.

why2008 posted 6/6/2013 21:57 PM


I am sorry this has been a rough week for you. It takes a while for the pain to stop and you are doing really well considering all you have gone through..

IAmPsycho posted 6/6/2013 23:19 PM

I have noticed during past break ups that limiting contact helps with healing. It seems like every time you see them, the scab is ripped off again. I'm so sorry you are dealing with heartbreak. It's a horrible thing to go through.

sisoon posted 6/7/2013 11:13 AM

It may help to keep repeating to yourself this truth:

I deserve to be treated well.

[This message edited by sisoon at 11:13 AM, June 7th (Friday)]

Pippy posted 6/7/2013 12:02 PM

Is moving to a new job possible for you? You will find detaching so much easier if you don't have to see him.

inlove67 posted 6/9/2013 10:06 AM

Pippy: At my company the department I am in is only at 1 location, I would have to switch jobs...which I am looking into. I hate this!

stillhere09 posted 6/9/2013 11:49 AM

It would be the best thing for you to switch jobs. I hope you find one soon.

Also, it helps immensely to no longer allow yourself to look back but look forward instead. Make plans for your future, both your immediate future and your distant future. Focus on that every time you feel anything that resembles missing him. It will get better.

nowiknow23 posted 6/9/2013 11:54 AM

Focus on that every time you feel anything that resembles missing him.
Focus is really the key. Right now, you are focusing on the loss. And that's natural. Healing begins when you can lift your focus from the loss and from the past, and shift it to yourself and the future.


[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 11:54 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]

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