I am no longer in the marriage home.
I have been staying with friends, moving around now for four months.
WH is wanting to work it out.
He is still emotionally absent.
When I do go back, the silence between us is cavernous, and cold. I have tried to talk with him, and it ends up in screaming, insulting rages.
He flips over into rage and frustration.
He says he is trying very hard.
But, I do not see or feel any thing different.
He clings to the house (she was there-they had sex), the camper (same), his camping gear (used to go vacationing with Breanne), he hid "things" of hers in the house....
Is it possible he is still in the fog?
It will be a year in October.
I do not know.
Moving toward D.
So, do not want to.
Did not want to be a single parent again...why did this happen.
Im 44 years old, no longer strong.
I have no home, no self respect, no money.
I no longer believe I am attractive, interesting.
Who is going to want me? I am broken.
And, I have this beautiful baby boy to take care of....I am so alone still
My family does not know what he did, they would all be devastated.
His family does not know, he is afraid of what it will do.
My girlfriends (two) know, and are supportive. But they cannot fill this void in my life.
Having very bad days, sorry for the depression-soaked blah