^^^^ This on both responses
I would like to add that without the truth, without him even acknowledging he's done wrong, there is no R. Just Limbo, and noone deserves that.
Focus on you, get you strong again. He certainly doesn't care about the M or you. He does not have your best interest at heart. The only person that you can control is you. You cannot make him do what you want him to do, not even if you have a unicorn, a magic wand, and flying monkeys.
Don't kill yourself trying to nice him back. You end up hurting one person. You.
Make youre demands clear for R. Make your consequences clearer, anything other than that, show him the door.
You have to be willing to loose the M to save it.