Hi All ~
I rarely post on here, but I do read the posts especially when I am having a bad day.
My D-Day happened almost three years ago and I wish I could say that things are so much better. I can still remember the horrible, raw pain of finding out, and trying to piece his story together since he lied, covered up, and blame-shifted upon being caught. Here are just a few key things to think about for those that have been stuck on the fence wonder what the next step is.
1. Aside from the affair is your WS someone that is a good person? Are they a good mother/father, someone with a strong work ethic? Are they kind, charitable, a good friend, or do they have other qualities that you admire and value?
2. Have they made changes in their behavior? Do they call you? Do they make an effort to make you happy and are they committed to the marriage? Do they make an effort to spend time with you? Do they plan for the future?
I think the most important question you need to ask yourself if you are stuck in neutral is, if you could somehow magically erase the affair, would you still want to be with this person?