I finally have a divorce hearing on the 18 of this month, and one month after that it will be final.
I don't want him back and would rather be alone for the rest of my life than live with him and his lies.
Last Wednesday when I dropped the kids to his place for dinner, instead of him bringing them home he asked me to pick them up so I could meet his "partner" (they've known each other a month). She seemed ok, I am just concerned that my children are treated well, but can someone tell me when it's my turn?
Now, I am not looking for a new husband, it would just be nice to have someone to share things with. How can the lying, cheating, minimising Disney Dad have better luck than me??
The thing is, I don't want to.
Please don't mistake being in a relationship with being in a 'real' relationship. I'll wait until I'm ready and then I'm holding out for something real.
You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - Contact
[This message edited by Linus1968 at 8:55 AM, June 8th (Saturday)]
My XWH in particular has had a large number of relationships since we split over 6 years ago. Every few months, the kids mention some new female name. Its insane how quickly he bounces from one to the next, but the reality is, he hasn't paused to work on his issues, so the common factor in all of the bad relationships is HIM.
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
A person who would introduce their partner to the kids after one month, or a person who would be willing to be introduced to their partner's kids after one month, is not a healthy person. This is going to crash and burn.
On the other hand, if you work on healing yourself, you will find true and lasting happiness, because it comes from within, not from being so desperate that you'll partner up with just anyone. It's worth the wait.
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
Let go of your self-respect, self-esteem, standards, expectations and compromise in just about any area necessary and you'll be on the same level as a lot of WS. You'll likely attract a person of equal (or less) quality as your ex too!
I'm pretty confident that it's better on this side of the fence even on the loneliest of nights!
I got a dose of the lonelies I guess. There is some one that I am interested in and we have shared a cuppa or two but I think he has friend zoned me, but that is ok too!!
I'm just starting to date for real (went on a few early on and what a disaster!) and I'm slowly meeting some people and having a good time, but taking everything VERY slowly and refuse to get into a competition with the ex. I'll find someone when I'm ready and when the right one comes along. Until that happens I'll date...and I won't discount anyone for lack of sparkles. I want a good, solid man this time and finding out if someone is that takes time. As long as they're not racist, homophobic, sexist or anything else along those lines I'll give them a shot. But they've got to show me, as I have got to show them, that they're worthy of my time, affection, and love.
It's hard to recover from this stuff and eve n harder when it seems your ex has figured it all out. But you know what? They haven't. They've just jumped from the frying pan into the fire. They're still the same person because they didn't take the time to do some self-reflection. Figure yourself out, don't be afraid of feeling lonely and figure out how you can change that for yourself, not looking for someone else to fill that empty space.
My ex did the same thing. He dated a girl that was 18 and still in high school (he was 29!) and tried to rub it in my face. She had the gall to call me and let me know that she wasn't trying to replace me, but she wanted me to know that she was on board to coparent with us and be a great stepmother to my daughter. I was appalled, as they had only been dating for three weeks when he had me and our child meet this girl. And...they only dated for a few months before parting ways.
"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."
She had the gall to call me and let me know that she wasn't trying to replace me, but she wanted me to know that she was on board to coparent with us and be a great stepmother to my daughter.
OMFG - really? WTF?
I expect 24 y/o OWUmpteen to last about 2-5 years. That's about how long his love bombing lasts. Then on to the next victim in the revolving door that is his 'luurve' life. It would be downright hilarious but for the fact that my girls will have to integrate and bond with someone new in their lives every few years only to have them disappear. It is the relationship style his mother modelled and now he is modelling it for my girls.
Changing the players doesn't change the game.
Read "She's Special" - its the second article down. http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/a-vain-fantasy-his-one-true-love-the-exception-that-confirms-the-rule/