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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

General :
Update to I think he's with her now...

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 Cyzygy (original poster new member #39437) posted at 1:01 PM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013

Thanks for the support everybody. ((HUGS))

Several people IRL know and I called every one of them! Had a good long chat with an old friend, and talked to my mom and my sister.

I made a frozen pizza for the boys last night and let them veg. I tried to eat and promptly .

My SIL came over to be with me for awhile and brought over my wedding video. Backstory: I've never seen it, as it has been missing since shortly after the ceremony. She started looking for it before dday because she said she felt some weird need to find it. I had asked her a few days ago to bring it to me if she ever did find it. Maybe it will knock some sense into him. *shrug*

My sister took the kids for a few hours this morning so I can center myself.

You know, it's almost good this happened. You see, I drained the bank account over a week ago and then realized the shit would hit the fan when his debit card is denied and I'd have some explaining to do. (I'm a SAHM so money is a REALLY big issue.)

I put a little bit back in figuring when the bus stopped for fast food he wouldn't suspect anything and then at least that drama could be avoided.

Now that this happened I have the perfect out:

"I saw some funky charges at a completely different base so I figured your card was stolen. I had no way to contact you to verify so I figured better safe than sorry and I cancelled your debit card. ... I figured it couldn't be you because if somehow you were on some sort of leave you'd at least find a way to call home and check on your kids. ... I also figured it couldn't be you because why on earth would someone need 60 bucks in their pocket to go sit in a tent for a week? ... It was you? Well, then you've got that 60 to tide you over. No? Where is it? Well, I'm sure you have the receipts then."

I should know for certain what's really going on in a few days. I hacked his email so I'm just waiting for the "Last weekend was so great" to show up in his inbox.

ETA: Oh, and 5 years ago today, we lost our first child.

[This message edited by Cyzygy at 7:05 AM, June 8th (Saturday)]

Me: 37, BS
Him: 39, WH
Married: 6 years, together for 9 years
2 boys, ages 3 & 4, he has a 15yo we never see
DDay: 5/21/13 (OW is a coworker at Walmart...he quit on Dday.)

posts: 25   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Columbus, OH
id 6366238
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MrsDoubtfire ( member #24786) posted at 1:11 PM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013

Stay strong and keep digging. This whole journey sucks.

Good thinking with the cancelled debit card story. That sounds feasible and should keep him off centre.

Have you watched the wedding video? If you intend to then be gentle with yourself. Right after DDay I watched ours.... Alone and sobbing. My daughter came in and told me I was stabbing a knife into my own heart and that I shouldn't watch it. But I still did. Over and over!!

I hope it shocks tour husband back into reality though. Huge hugs and stay strong.

BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†

posts: 1634   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2009
id 6366247
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hardtimesinlife ( member #10468) posted at 1:19 PM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013

You are sounding so strong today. Good for you. Remember it's a roller coaster and don't let the low moments get to you.

(((Cyzygy)))

I'm sorry you lost your first child. Thinking of you.

Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

posts: 7056   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2006   ·   location: Florida
id 6366253
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Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 3:05 PM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013

He's in the military? Do you know who she is?

posts: 5485   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2005   ·   location: Chicago
id 6366340
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:32 PM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013

((((((cyzygy))))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6366348
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 Cyzygy (original poster new member #39437) posted at 3:33 PM on Saturday, June 8th, 2013

He's in the Reserves so Article 134 doesn't apply to him.

She's a coworker at Walmart.

Me: 37, BS
Him: 39, WH
Married: 6 years, together for 9 years
2 boys, ages 3 & 4, he has a 15yo we never see
DDay: 5/21/13 (OW is a coworker at Walmart...he quit on Dday.)

posts: 25   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Columbus, OH
id 6366349
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