it has been almost 2 years since dday1....then 9 more months of false r with ow2....now we have been attempting r for the last 7 months. he is doing everything in the healing library. it was only 7 months ago when i learned everything....the false r...the phone records...and the secret email account that knocked me off my feet.
the secret email account that i hacked into revealed his double life in detail....the dirty pictures of other women, porn, all the emails between him and the ow, and the online dating sites that he was a member of.
the way i let him know i knew everything was by emailing him a picture of the ow on his lap...and him kissing her. from my investigation, the physical cheating has been going on for the last 3 years with other women....but the online dating, porn...has been going on for at least a year after we got married. i was able to hack into his on-line dating account, and i see that he registered a year after we got married.
i cant help but wonder you guys is if my whole marriage has been a lie?
to me, it has been. he may have not started out actually having physical sex with these women on-line...but he was still cheating...cheating on me and the marriage with his cybersex, dating sites....and there were many of them.
in addition to that...it was only 7 months ago that i found out he is an alcoholic and a substance abuser...he just completed rehab.
so he has been fucked up...(excuse my language) for a really long time....i am sure way longer than before i even met him.
he seems like a different person now....and so i am with my ic...and my firm boundaries for r in place.
but, you guys...i am not sure how to process this....my whole marriage being a lie, you know? yes, he is doing everything he should have been doing all along now...but i am having a difficult time moving forward with all that i know.....
i feel like i have been duped...like we should have never gotten married.
can anyone relate to what i am saying.....i guess i am hurting AGAIN today....
BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
R:Last chance