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age of the AP

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hopefulmother posted 6/8/2013 21:03 PM

I am not writing this to bash any of you who are in their twenties. This is a question and observation. Just kinda curious about the general AP ages. My H was 37 and had an A with a 27 yr old. I at the time was turning 38.

I think there is a whole generation of twenty some-things that think having affairs and being the "other" women is cool and attractive. It sucks that our husbands fall for it or are attracted to it. An observation made by seeing other posts. Or perhaps it is every generation and it is an age thing. I know there are exceptions. I have seen them here, but it seems that the normal female AP is in their twenties.

We can be that way too (thirty or forty year olds), if we let go of our integrity and moral values.

Fighting2Survive posted 6/8/2013 21:09 PM

My husband was 37 when he had his A. The OW was in her early thirties.

I don't agree with the idea that most OW are in their 20s. That's not true from my experience. Broken people (and it takes a broken person to be either a WS or an OP) can be any age.

My sister is 40 and she's been an OW several times. It has nothing to do with her age. She's BPD- just diagnosed this year- and her constant search for validation from unavailable men is an issue that goes far beyond her age.

LonelyBH posted 6/8/2013 21:24 PM

This is an issue I have except its opposite, all the om in my case are much older, 1 of them twice my age. It is disturbing to me, but in my opinion its simply that men are typically attracted to younger women and typically women are attracted to older men. My ws didn't have an affair because she thought it was cool, she did it because she had problems and unhappiness and she thought that multiple partners would get her the attention and happiness she was looking for. The age difference didn't bother her at the time but she says it does now, and it defintely bothers me.

Williesmom posted 6/8/2013 21:25 PM

My wxh was 41, mow was 29. She was very immature. She was also a stupid bitch.

bloodstream posted 6/8/2013 21:30 PM

H was 41, OW was 24.

I was 37.... and for the first time felt really old.

Jospehine85 posted 6/8/2013 22:23 PM

WH was 54 at dday. MOW claimed 45, more likely pushing 50. I was 47.

I do agree that most 20-somethings seem to have a much more laid back attitude to "hooking up". It is probably part of why they think nothing about hooking up with a married man.

MOW in our case was a serial cheater in at least her second marriage. She admitted that she stalked my WH and waited for the prime opportunity (he was stumbling drunk and away from home) to proposition him. This is apparently her M.O. at all the work conferences she attends. I think she gets self-worth out of getting married men to sleep with her.

FightingBack posted 6/8/2013 22:37 PM

My WH was 42 when the affair began. I was 37. MOW was 36.

Age wasn't as important as opportunity.

She worked for him and made it very clear that she was very willing and available.

Sad in AZ posted 6/8/2013 22:43 PM

Age has nothing to do with it.

In my case the X & I were 52 on d-day; the OW was 47.

BW2639 posted 6/8/2013 22:52 PM

During my fWW's Affair, I was late 40's...she and the OM were early 40's.

inconnu posted 6/8/2013 22:54 PM

OW/now-wifetress is 7 or 8 years older than me, I believe. I know that as we get older, age is so much less relevant, but still, imagine other people's reactions when I tell them my husband left me for an older woman.

musiclovingmom posted 6/8/2013 23:16 PM

All of my H's OW were within a year or two of his age. He was 31 and I was 30. None were younger.

SBB posted 6/9/2013 00:46 AM

In my experience it has nothing to do with the chronological age of the AP.

There were so many OW in my case - DD OW was around my age, lots of others in their late 20s, current OWUmpteen is in her early 20s and had been fucking my husband for years before I realised. I trusted her taste more than I trusted his fidelity.

Fucked up has no age limit.

HeartInADustpan posted 6/9/2013 01:00 AM

Who knows about most of my WH's AP's. They were simply behind a computer screen. Hell, sometimes I hope he was chatting up some 80 year old perv guy. Sorry, I'm a little bitter.

The ones he *actually met* or Skyped with were all younger. Mostly in their 20's. I think one was maybe 30. Still younger than me. Ugh. He was such an a-hole.

Bluebird26 posted 6/9/2013 01:09 AM

I think broken people of any age can and do apply to be AP.

FWIW my xwh had affairs with people older then me.

Fossy posted 6/9/2013 01:57 AM

My WH's AP is 24, he's 58 and they have been living together since July 2012.

refuz2bavictim posted 6/9/2013 06:17 AM

After taking some time to calculate the number of OW, and reduce them into nice tidy fractions.... A denominator of 3 looks less daunting to me.

I have determined that 2/3 of them were over 35. The other 1/3 were twenty-somethings.

The only one to make the choice to enter into a full PA was the MOW cruising 40.

So based on my experience...age isn't relevant. Well actually if I was only going from my experience alone...more than half the time these women were well OUT of their 20's.

sullymeishadomi posted 6/9/2013 08:02 AM

I was 40 (and pregnant).

Wh 38.

Skank 37 or 38. Twice divorced by age 36. Both he and she big drinkers/alcoholics.

The first yr of the affair, early in 2008, I was cleaning the closet or looking for something and came across a letter addressed to his friends dd in his home country of costa rica. Girl was somewhere in her mid-teens (14 to 16) at thr time. The way he wrote the letter...very inappropriate. He told her not to tell anyone of the letter and for her to respond to his friends p.o. box. I wonder if ow knew about this budding relationship. I should have kept it and shown her, lol.

Tho I hear males from his country and where I live wanting younger women and I know young girls from his country wanting older males, when it comes to affairs, it runs the gammet. The only constant is the immorality and selfishness of those people

bestrongforyou posted 6/9/2013 08:14 AM

I was 35 back then, he was 31 - OW was 26 :-(

stillhere09 posted 6/9/2013 08:31 AM

My STBX (we're separated) had multiple OW.

A few were in their 30's & 40's, a few were in their 20's. The ones in their 20's were more blatant.

Amazonia posted 6/9/2013 08:39 AM

I was 26 at the time of the affair. My now-ex husband was 27. OW was 35.

Age has nothing to do with it.

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