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Newest Member: Shadows1117 (48802)

User Topic: Quick and Good Update
KBeguile
♂ 38348
Member # 38348
Content  Posted: 11:53 PM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm very pleased to report that I had a heartfelt and very direct discussion with Heart about our situation. I have gained new insights as to her personal feelings and her position, as well as having a better understanding of myself and my growth since D-Day.

The best part, though, is that I didn't take any of it personally, I didn't start withdrawing, I didn't have a pity party, or any of that other "all about me" crap. It was really a great feeling.


Me: WS 34
Her: BS 37 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 6yo
M: 9 years
DDays: 2012/11/14-2013/02/05, 2013/03/09, 2014/12/23

Posts: 810 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great to hear, KBeguile. In keeping with the vein of selflessness, how did SHE feel about the talk?

Hopefully a followup with her reveals some kind of relief and comfort.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 2:11 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


"It is impossible to get a man to understand something if his livelihood depends on him not understanding." - Upton Sinclair

Posts: 23911 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
KBeguile
♂ 38348
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 1:54 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

According to her, it was comforting, validating (of my Craniorectal Implantation), and insightful (into how I thought pre-D-Day). I think she's relieved to see that I've made visible progress. Hell, she flat-out told me that "(she) didn't need (me)," and I took it far better than I would have pre-D-Day (which would have been to mope, disagree, whine, and so forth).

Upon further investigation/reflection, we have established that the Fog is now only apparently conditional and contained to certain situations, rather than being wide-spread and interfering in everything I try to do; it's pretty well-contained to my NPD tendencies now. I don't try to do as many "mental gymnastics" with regard to my behavior during my As, nor do I attempt to defend myself or the OPs.

I still need to work on NPD-related issues, but I'm getting there.


Me: WS 34
Her: BS 37 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 6yo
M: 9 years
DDays: 2012/11/14-2013/02/05, 2013/03/09, 2014/12/23

Posts: 810 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:11 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds like a LOT of work. Hopefully you are experiencing some relief from your new path as well.


"It is impossible to get a man to understand something if his livelihood depends on him not understanding." - Upton Sinclair

Posts: 23911 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good job, KBeguile! Keep going .


Trust is earned when actions meet words. ---Chris Butler

Posts: 44212 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 5

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