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Newest Member: Maggie1000 (45722)

User Topic: Quick and Good Update
KBeguile
♂ 38348
Member # 38348
Content  Posted: 11:53 PM, June 8th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm very pleased to report that I had a heartfelt and very direct discussion with Heart about our situation. I have gained new insights as to her personal feelings and her position, as well as having a better understanding of myself and my growth since D-Day.

The best part, though, is that I didn't take any of it personally, I didn't start withdrawing, I didn't have a pity party, or any of that other "all about me" crap. It was really a great feeling.


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 802 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great to hear, KBeguile. In keeping with the vein of selflessness, how did SHE feel about the talk?

Hopefully a followup with her reveals some kind of relief and comfort.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 2:11 AM, June 9th (Sunday)]


"Sometimes people are mean, and sometimes things will be hard. One of your jobs is to try and make sure that that never makes you mean and hard, too." Cord Jefferson's Mom

Posts: 18292 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
KBeguile
♂ 38348
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 1:54 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

According to her, it was comforting, validating (of my Craniorectal Implantation), and insightful (into how I thought pre-D-Day). I think she's relieved to see that I've made visible progress. Hell, she flat-out told me that "(she) didn't need (me)," and I took it far better than I would have pre-D-Day (which would have been to mope, disagree, whine, and so forth).

Upon further investigation/reflection, we have established that the Fog is now only apparently conditional and contained to certain situations, rather than being wide-spread and interfering in everything I try to do; it's pretty well-contained to my NPD tendencies now. I don't try to do as many "mental gymnastics" with regard to my behavior during my As, nor do I attempt to defend myself or the OPs.

I still need to work on NPD-related issues, but I'm getting there.


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 802 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:11 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds like a LOT of work. Hopefully you are experiencing some relief from your new path as well.


"Sometimes people are mean, and sometimes things will be hard. One of your jobs is to try and make sure that that never makes you mean and hard, too." Cord Jefferson's Mom

Posts: 18292 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good job, KBeguile! Keep going .


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38661 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 5

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