I always felt like it was really really hard for me to express how the last years of my marriage, the separation and how it now 4 years later feels like - so I thought I express it through music 
This is how I saw the last 4 years of my marriage when my husband decided to work abroad and I stayed at home with our 2 children
http://youtu.be/s-3T2GZJ-v0
(Westlife - I'm Already There (With Lyrics)
Then the Sunday morning which I will never forget as long as I live - he tells me on Skype chat from abroad that he won't be coming home anymore, that we have grown apart, that he never cheated, that there was no other woman. I believed that he was heartbroken too, that he had just fallen out of love with me.
http://youtu.be/61HRdUcJtXQ
(Jordin Sparks ft Chris Brown - No Air Lyrics)
The months that followed - me completely and utterly and heartbroken but starting to realize that maybe he hadn't told the entire truth about there not being anyone else - in fact after our split so many new faces / facts started to appear it was hard to keep track - until today I have not been able to establish a timeline of what really happened and with whom...
http://youtu.be/u_qGdD4_uW4
(Kelly Clarkson Gone with Lyrics by Jr)
and then there is today - almost 4 years later - in exactly 12 days I can file officially file for divorce - WH, the man who always claimed when asked if he wanted more children "Hell No" - well him and OW just had twins 2 months ago - the woman I didn't even know existed as my WH made me believe he was just working and sleeping abroad
And that's me today - still unattached with 2 fantastic boys I have raised by myself and am so very proud of 
http://youtu.be/Xn676-fLq7I
(Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)
