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So....am I reading too much into this?

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She11ybeanz posted 6/9/2013 09:41 AM

So...there is this guy that has been emailing me on an OLD site... and he seemed okay at first....asked me a few questions like "What are your favorite places" which was extremely broad but I tried to keep it less than a novel in response. But, when I asked him the same....he never really responded.

He goes a day or two before he emails me back and when he does email me back, I've noticed its like 1am... and he just keeps asking when we can go out?

I would make the time to meet him....but seem a little apprehensive since he doesn't seem to really want to talk much first....at all. ?? Is it just me?

gahurts posted 6/9/2013 09:47 AM

I would be hesitant to meet someone IRL unless I had a good e-mail/text talking on the phone relationship developed first. If he is not responding to you untill dys later and late at night, it would certinly make me wonder.

JessicaFL127 posted 6/9/2013 09:50 AM

I agree with gahurts. I have had nothing but pushy and creepy guys. Sigh.

persevere posted 6/9/2013 10:29 AM

I won't meet someone without one or two phone conversations. Typically, I feel like I get a more clear impression of their personality on the phone that I can't get from messages or emails.

And always follow your instincts.

She11ybeanz posted 6/9/2013 10:29 AM

Yeah.... and him responding early morning (granted he could work 2nd shift or something) makes me "assume" he has nothing better to do or might be up late from drinking and partying and looking for action or something...

I could totally be off base and he might work a weird shift or just be a night owl... but he does wait a day or two to respond and his responses are short... and always go back to " So...when do you think we can meet?" If I were not a single mom....I would probably give him a shot and go on ONE date to see if he is just one of those guys who wants to meet in person sooner than later and talk BUT... finding a sitter and going through all of that trouble ...for me...has to be worth my time and effort! Ya know??

She11ybeanz posted 6/9/2013 10:31 AM

Thank you persevere.....

I think because this guy is fairly attractive...that he is used to girls just falling over him without much "substance" or effort on his part to get to know them better beforehand... I'm past all of that shallow crap. I need depth in my life ....

Williesmom posted 6/9/2013 11:26 AM

Shelly, just ask him why the odd hours. His response will tell you a lot.

UnsettledOne posted 6/9/2013 12:18 PM

No your not reading to much into it...no previous phone call?...

I won't even consider going out or asking a woman out until I have gotten to knwo her over the phone...if the person is from a dating site even skyping first is important.

But the very minimum would be a few phone convos..you can learn alot about someone by hearing thier voice.


[This message edited by UnsettledOne at 12:20 PM, June 9th (Sunday)]

GrievingMommy posted 6/9/2013 12:28 PM

The fact that he's not answering your questions and no phone call all the while pushing meeting in person would be a no-go for me.

Some chatting on the phone and him being more open would have to happen if I were to move to the next level of meeting in person.

Also, go with with what your gut is telling you.

devistatedmom posted 6/9/2013 18:44 PM

Although I agree with everyone...you should at least talk before meeting, etc...there could be an explanation for his late night answers. When I was doing OLD, I would often answer late at night or early in the morning. My computer is in the living room, and I would NOT go onto an OLD site while my kids were around. They don't need to see mom looking at men's pics...eeewww.

Not excusing him not answering you, just giving a reason he may be answering at odd hours.

InnerLight posted 6/9/2013 19:41 PM

He sounds selfish. He is not asking you questions about yourself so that he knows what makes you happy and can think about if that is something he can do for you. He is asking about your availability to him so you can make HIM happy.

Really get clear on the early signs of selfish men and stay away. You have been with that kind way too much!
Look out for signs that he is sincerely interested in you as a person and wants to make your life easier because making you happy makes him feel great. I don't see that w this guy at all, I don't care what hour he emails his little plea for your attention.

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