I have never had a wedding ring or engagement ring. For 10 years I had always wanted h to choose one for me.
For Christmas, 2011, h gave me a beautiful ring. It made me so happy, he had never given me a gift like this. I put much more meaning into it than he did apparently. I saw it as an expression of his love for me. Everytime I looked at it I smiled.
Ever since dday I have been questioning the meaning, he gave it to me only 10 months before he left me and told me he hadn't loved me for years.
Today, I asked him what the meaning of the ring was to him. He said that he felt I had never had a proper ring and deserved one. I was not bought because he loved me, but because at the time he only wanted to love me but didn't.
I gave it back. Told him I would rather wait for the real thing.
It feels so sad. Another thing lost, just add it to the pile.
In a way it feels good to have it gone. Everytime I look at it now it makes me sad, makes me wonder, now I know.
The losses never seem to end.
I guess it is better to know the truth than to wonder."So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie