I have seen a attorney 2 actually and I am saving money, getting my car all fixed with new tires and what ever else it needs. This is hard July 1 or 2, 1985 we met and started dating . We were married in 1985.
I have changed ALL my pass words and secured some stuff. I know next Sunday is going to be a very hard Day for both my daughter and myself. Don't know how I will deal with it. I don't know if I want the attorney to file for divorce or if I should just wait to see what he says when he comes home.
I pray every day and night for strength! I need it. Today when he told me he was going to be here next week I started shaking and got sick to my stomach and all the feelings of betrayal came rushing back to me. Please all pray for me to have strength and for God to guide me in the right direction.
I don't know what to do if he tries to tell me he is sorry and wants to stay with me. How can I ever trust him again. On the other hand if he goes I know it will be very hard as well. Worried about all our bills and how I will ever get a home of my own to continue my home preschool and child care business. So glad I put in for vacation July 6-13
. I felt like I was going to vomit this morning. Does anyone have any thing they can share .
Chances are, he's hoping to come home, do his pennence on the boat and then move back in - sweeping it all under the rug like before.
I understand you're scared. We're here for you - come here often, for advice or a boost in spirits...
Big Hugs. Just know that we're here for you. And, basically, we've all pretty much been there and a lot of us have come through intact.
I don't know if he's being honest with you. Really doubt it. He may be staying on the boat, he may not. And if he wasn't even thinking that it was Father's Day, then he's really not processing things at all. From what you said about marrying in 1985, he seems to be in that dangerous mid-life crisis age. That's about when my WH starting wandering in earnest.
Just take care of yourself and kids and do what you are doing. Get things repaired, make sure you have access to all your paperwork if you need it, and keep track of the money. If things get rough, it's better to keep your mind on the practical things.
I read your profile. Honey, he has no remorse and he has never changed.
Do you want to be second fiddle the rest of your life?
He has betrayed you emotionally and financially REPEATEDLY.
I think you need to see an attorney tomorrow and get paperwork filed to protect you and your daughter financially.
Good luck. I wish only the best for you.
You need to go NC with him. The saying here is "No Contact = No New Hurts". Until he recognizes that his irresponsible behavior put him where he is now, he is not going to be worth dirt as a husband. Regardless of what his lips say (which isn't much), his actions don't match the actions of a remorseful, loving husband and until they do, NC. You deserve better than this and so do your kids. A good father spends time with his kids and helps support them. A good father doesn't walk away, stop supporting them, stop seeing them, and then threaten suicide and cause as much drama as possible in the little bit of time he is with them. It's still about him just as it always has been.
Now we were do to court on Feb 11 for contempt because he quit a job making $250,000.00 a year and never went back to work till Jan 6TH. he took a truck driving job making 9.50 an hour. his paychecks have been horrible and I still have not received any income , child support or alimony. nothing since sometime in the early part of November. on the 10Th of Feb. he sent me two text implying suicide. I was told to call police and let them know. he said he wants everything he lost back, (his old life) never said he wants me back and or that he was in love with me. when I mentioned that to him he said I am his life n always has been. He left the 10Th came back to the house the next morning. I called to report he was home and the missing person report can be stopped. the police came and made a huge seen. they took him out in handcuffs and took him to a hospital for 72 hour eval. he was out in 5 hours just after he was do in court. He would not say how he got out. the police were worried because he has guns and wont tell them where they are. He said they are in VA with someone from the State Dept. He left that same afternoon to go back out on the road to do trucking. he has not acted like a man who was so distraught over the thought of loosing me. I believe more and more as each day passes this was a game for him. a way to get the contempt charges postponed again. He says he wants to drop the divorce but wants to drive treuck and this will keep him gone all the time never knowing when he will come home. I seen a text to the OW telling her he was looking forward to taking her out on the road with him. My head is spinning. Our girls and son who is in the army and the whole family were worried sick he was going to kill himself and it just sickens me to think he played a act to get out of going to court. I have not been sleeping well because my head was spinning so much. I told him he does not say I love you or act like he misses me so much. very little emotion from him. he said it was because he was traumatized by being taken out of her in handcuff and he feels neighbors seen it. he says he cant come back to this house. see he has always made me quit my jobs in the past and I think he wants me to move out of this house so he will come back. I do home child care and if I move I will loose my job. his credit is horrible now because when his pay stopped I stopped paying all his bills. I have managed to pay my bills but the house is 4 months behind now.
I told him 2 days ago to stop reaching out to me because it hurt to much and I could not sleep. my family thinks he is trying to drive me crazy.
I know I Can Never Trust Him again and I am sick of cleaning up his messes after an affair. this is his 4TH or 5Th one over our time together that I caught him in. I'm done trying. I had thought he was sincere and I told him I did love him before I started to figure out this is a game or act for him. Now I don't know how to tell him I cant do it. It's to late . I'm not 100 percent sure he faked all the drama he caused on the 10-11 but I'm pretty sure its a act. now I did tell him I needed to step back and think and that I needed him to stop reaching out to me. now that I did that now he is sending text again being sweet and saying I love you to me. one therapist said to keep things positive with him because he may be going through or suffering from PTSD. he spent the last almost 10 years in Iraq. Back when I found out he was cheating again one of his emails to this OW was that he worked that job because it kept him away from here. after he fell in love with her he took the whole summer from June 11-Sept 9 off and then worked 3 weeks if that and quit. never to start work till Jan. he gets paid terrible and I told him if he wanted to work on our marriage that he needed therapy and we needed marriage counseling. now he wont give this job up even though the pay stinks. I think it is another excuse to stay away from our home and prolong this divorce so he can get a year of bad pay to try and change what the courts will tell him he has to pay. OMG I am so frustrated. I have already had to pay out $11,000.00 to my attorney because he kept making me go back to court. he owes his attorney $8,000.00. they quit his case.
should I be posting this in the divorce section? if so how can I move it there. I hate to have to retype all this. when I think of all he has put me through over the years it make me sick to my stomach.
He is not the man I thought he was.
Just so you all know. from what everyone tells me a beautiful women in great shape and many people tell me he is crazy to have done what he has done. I have been a great wife to him and would have done just about anything for him. we have not had sex in over 2 years because he said he couldn't . yet he has sex with the OW 2-3 times on the 2 or 3 date. I have gone out with a guy who was really nice and really was falling in love with me but with all this going on I could not focus on what needed to be done and after all the hurt I really don't think I want to jump right back into a relationship. I will never Never Never get remarried.