For me it was absolute NC, an email stating so tO her.
All access to email phone etc.
MC for at least a short time.
Answers to any questions I may have
Patiencence and understanding.
Absolutely NO more hiding or lying about anything!
I clearly outlined these and told him shoul he not do this I was done and he would have to leave.
We have successfully R'd. we did have a rough start and broken NC TOO many times. I ultimately ended up making him pack his shot before he really got it. But when he did he really really did.