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What were your conditions for going forward?

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cuppacoffee posted 6/9/2013 17:32 PM

I feel like I need some concrete examples of what is not okay.

So far

No contact with ow
Access to email text and phone
No going out for fun without me

tushnurse posted 6/9/2013 18:05 PM

For me it was absolute NC, an email stating so tO her.

All access to email phone etc.

MC for at least a short time.

Answers to any questions I may have

Patiencence and understanding.

Absolutely NO more hiding or lying about anything!

I clearly outlined these and told him shoul he not do this I was done and he would have to leave.

We have successfully R'd. we did have a rough start and broken NC TOO many times. I ultimately ended up making him pack his shot before he really got it. But when he did he really really did.

Jospehine85 posted 6/9/2013 18:11 PM

^^^^^^ Everything tushnurse said.

I also told WH that I was looking for (non-A) behavioral improvement. As long as the trend was toward improvement (perfection was not expected overnight) I would stay the course.

WH was also required to stay sober and on his mood stablizing medication.

The other bottom line: treat me with respect at all times.

catlover50 posted 6/9/2013 18:22 PM

IC for him, MC for us

Complete honesty

Continued stepping up and putting my needs first, at least for now

I can see his phone anytime

Answer any and all questions

The "new, improved" H stays permanently!

mtab posted 6/9/2013 18:23 PM

1.NC

2.NC letter

3.phone and email access

4.whereabouts known at all times
5.NC with any women at work except business related, relate any of those conversations to me

6.Timeline or journal of A

7.Name of howorker

8.IC

9.Read A books

I got 1,2,3,mostly 4, finally 7(took 2 months),8, and am about out of patience waiting for 6 and 8....

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