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cuppacoffee (original poster member #39313) posted at 11:32 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2013
I feel like I need some concrete examples of what is not okay.
So far
No contact with ow
Access to email text and phone
No going out for fun without me
I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 12:05 AM on Monday, June 10th, 2013
For me it was absolute NC, an email stating so tO her.
All access to email phone etc.
MC for at least a short time.
Answers to any questions I may have
Patiencence and understanding.
Absolutely NO more hiding or lying about anything!
I clearly outlined these and told him shoul he not do this I was done and he would have to leave.
We have successfully R'd. we did have a rough start and broken NC TOO many times. I ultimately ended up making him pack his shot before he really got it. But when he did he really really did.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Jospehine85 ( member #35971) posted at 12:11 AM on Monday, June 10th, 2013
^^^^^^ Everything tushnurse said.
I also told WH that I was looking for (non-A) behavioral improvement. As long as the trend was toward improvement (perfection was not expected overnight) I would stay the course.
WH was also required to stay sober and on his mood stablizing medication.
The other bottom line: treat me with respect at all times.
Me - BS
WH - old
Kids
Dday May 2012
catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 12:22 AM on Monday, June 10th, 2013
IC for him, MC for us
Complete honesty
Continued stepping up and putting my needs first, at least for now
I can see his phone anytime
Answer any and all questions
The "new, improved" H stays permanently!
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
mtab ( member #36981) posted at 12:23 AM on Monday, June 10th, 2013
1.NC
2.NC letter
3.phone and email access
4.whereabouts known at all times
5.NC with any women at work except business related, relate any of those conversations to me
6.Timeline or journal of A
7.Name of howorker
8.IC
9.Read A books
I got 1,2,3,mostly 4, finally 7(took 2 months),8, and am about out of patience waiting for 6 and 8....
me:BW 64
him:WS 65
married 22 years
DDay: Sept. 4, 2012
2 sons (his)
1 grandchild
A: 6 mos (according to him) UPDATE:11 months is the latest admission....
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