Topic: tired, depressed and can't friggin believe I did it
Member # 12050
| Posted: 8:12 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013|
ended things with SO of 3 years today. It was not dramatic, no yelling, no fighting, basically me just saying that I want out. We have a house together so getting out will not be that quick but I want out. Now I am second guessing myself. I feel in my heart that this is the right move for us both but what if it's not. I am so lonely out here without my family and friends but is that a reason to end what has been a pretty decent relationship?
Posts: 2817 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
Member # 19946
| Posted: 8:19 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013|
So sorry, I know you loved this guy but didn't you discover him cheating? Sorry if I have your story wrong, I haven't read all the posts here lately.
I'm sure this is really hard.
BS, now age 54, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years M and 20 together. In some ways I have not 'gotten over it'. But I am resilient and have created a good life where I am mostly happy.
Posts: 6107 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Member # 31528
| Posted: 9:42 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013|
I'm so sorry. I hear you. Some steps aren't easy to take. Sending you strength and big hugs.
Posts: 38671 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 33226
| Posted: 10:23 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013|
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 29015 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 28622
| Posted: 11:02 PM, June 9th (Sunday), 2013|
hang in there (((gp)))
You are strong. You are not in limbo. Second guessing happens. I like to make lists. Somehow seeing the reasons WHY written down is concrete and somehow reassuring.
Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
Posts: 6093 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Member # 10552
| Posted: 12:15 AM, June 10th (Monday), 2013|
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Posts: 15522 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Member # 38122
| Posted: 10:16 AM, June 10th (Monday), 2013|
Of course you're second-guessing. It's a hard decisions, and a big one. Just remind yourself of why you made that decision.
Fear is the biggest thing that keeps us in a bad relationship. If that is the only thing making you reconsider, then you have made the right decision!
Be strong, gardenparty. You can do this!
Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous
Posts: 2158 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 34931
| Posted: 4:32 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013|
I agree with what Pass said regarding fear. For me fear can be paralyzingly.
BGF (50) me
WBF (50) him
Working on R (03/21/2012)
It's over: 5/5/12
Posts: 223 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Member # 37991
| Posted: 4:38 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013|
I like what another poster said about making lists. I find that writing things out clarifies the issues in my own mind.
Also, LOVE your username
Hang in there.
exWSO, who cares
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
“I tramp a perpetual journey.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
Posts: 124 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
Member # 20849
| Posted: 5:19 PM, June 11th (Tuesday), 2013|
Are you comfortable with the reasons you ended it? I am sure you thought about it long and hard....and I am not sure what the reasons were....
I know it is easy to second guess yourself. But generally, when I end a relationship, I know I did the right thing. If you feel you did the right thing, then don't let the fear of loneliness or being alone change your mind.
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
Posts: 15877 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
|Topic Posts: 10|